;because you say I'm awesome.

being jekyll & hyde

2011-02-04T23:43:00.002+08:00

I never said you were not good enough.

I guess we have different ways of saying the same thing and I'm just an over-sensitive person.

I'm a bad person even though you say I'm not. I know myself and you don't know that part of me.

I'm just afraid it may show one day and you won't like it. I hope you never see it.

HAPPY CNY

2011-02-04T00:10:00.003+08:00

Last night was a milestone in my life, I've never ever felt so shitty yet happy before. Let's start at the beginning.

As per usual Chinese tradition, my family had a reunion dinner at one of my Uncle's place near Bukit Timah. Everything was good, there was food, family and of course wine. And when I say wine, I mean loads of it. Everyone brought at least one bottle and there were about 10 gone by the time we finished. Some were good, others were just okay but all definitely contributed to the end result of my terrible night.

I started drinking at about 6.30pm when the first bottle was opened and it didn't help that I didn't have much to eat either. I just wasn't that hungry I guess. All I remember was pouring glasses for all my uncles and I would top up my own glass as well. And being the greedy kiasu Singaporean I am, I wanted to taste every single bottle so I gulped my wine down pretty fast, the way it is NOT meant to be drunk as I learnt. I mean so much for all my culinary knowledge and that Distinction I got huh?

I remember there was still like half a bottle left before everyone started leaving and by that time I was pretty wasted but still adamant on finishing that bottle. Hence, my family left me alone and they went home without me. So I went to my cousin's place at Tiong Bahru and even though I was gone, I could tell the house was really pretty, like a bachelorette pad. And I got really acquainted with her awesome bathroom. In all that dizziness, I could still appreciate the beauty of her toilet. Haha.

Oh ya and I forgot who sent me to her place too. All I remember was I was sitting at the back seat with Larry on my left and Maddy on my right. Apparently, Maddy is my niece who is a year younger than me but I've never seen her before cause she's been in Australia all this while. And I hope she really does forget everything I said cause I believe in my drunken stupor, I talked a whole load of crap. And like I think I accidentally made fun of her Vietnamese bf. HAH.

Okay but I'm quite thankful for Carol and Larry who kept taking care of me and sitting with me by the toilet bowl. Honestly, this is the first time I've puked since primary six, and that was after an operation. I've never puked from drinking too much before and I guess this is a humbling experience, even Kings do fall. RIGHTTT.

So after all the Ice Blasts and Tiger Balm and Earl Grey and wet towels, I finally was sent home by Denis and Karen. Thank god she knows where I stay and I barely managed to unlock my own door and I just crashed on the sofa, I couldn't manage to walk 3 fucking flights of stairs to my room. I have no idea what time I got home but I remember waking up at like 0545 and 0900 to puke again, and by that time, my stomach and head hurt so bad. I've never felt that fucked up before. But I guess it's good cause like I think it helped me lose weight! HAHAHA.

Anyway, I suffered a headache till about noon and constant nausea throughout the day even now. I hope I'm better tomorrow. Should be going clubbing with Maddy and maybe Jerome and Renee? We'll see. But I know I'm surely gonna be a good boy and not drink that much. Two standard drinks and that's it! I'm gonna be a good boy from now on.

Till then,

GONG XI FA CAI & BU YAO HE TAI DUO!

2010-11-14T01:56:00.002+08:00

It was all real. There was never a moment of regret or doubt and I'd do it all over again if I had a choice.

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Heaven is a place on Earth.

2010-11-02T22:00:00.041+08:00

As you may already know, I was overseas for about a week and I went to Maldives with my mother, brother, Caryn and three other very wonderful and fun people.

You see, my brother's classmate, Sham, owns a few resorts and other stuff in Maldives and his father is a really rich businessman and stuff. So being the nice guy that he is, he invited my brother and us on a 7 day holiday in one of his resorts, Lily Beach Resort. Please go check the website out for pictures of the rooms and stuff cause we didn't really take much pictures of the room since we won't be doing it any justice. The website has much prettier pictures.

So we arrived at Male airport at 0230 in the morning as our Malaysian Airline flight was delayed;typical. We met Sham, his friend whose name happens to also be Sham. So we called his friend ShamSham. And there was this other guy who worked for his dad, doing random stuff, kinda like an all rounded butler sort of thing. So they met us at the airport and we took the ferry to mainland Male as the airport is like about 10 minutes away from the mainland.

Once we arrived, we went to his house which is like a 10 storey building but they only stay on the 6th floor and above, the bottom few floors are leased out to businesses like offices of other resorts and stuff. And we had nothing to do cause we had to take the sea plane a few hours later at like 0730. So my mum went to rest while Sham, ShamSham, my brother, Caryn and I went walking the streets of Male in the wee hours of the morning. It's not a big country with a population of only about 300,000; 200,000 of which do not stay on Male. It is actually rather dangerous walking around Male at night as there are usually robberies and stuff going on so I was hoping to see some action, but I guess as a big group, you don't see much.

We walked to Number One Jetty which used to be only for the President or other officials but now open to the public. So we sat there at like 4 in the morning, talking about the history of Maldives, the economy, the army and other such stuff which was not so boring after all. I really learnt a lot just from that conversation.

Later in the morning, we went to the sea plane terminal which was on the same island as the airport and we got to use the lounge there because you know, Sham is there. Hah.

Presenting, Hussein Sham.

That's ShamSham. Really funny guy.

Walking to the Sea Plane.

That's the sea planes. Cool eh.

That's the airport and runway, only 3km long. Super scary when you land cause you either hit or miss.

View from the top. So pretty right.

That's the Water Villas of the island where I stayed.

See the guy on the left, that's Nau. He's the ONLY Chemical Engineer in the entire Maldives. HAHA. And even though he acts like a clown and all, he's a really brilliant mind. So the sea plane cant land on the resort itself. So it landed like on a small floating platform in the middle of the ocean and we were picked up by a boat from the resort. So cool la.

That's the view from Kevin and Caryn's room.

And that's their room.

So basically, Lily Beach Resort is an all inclusive resort. Which means once you're on the island, everything is free, well almost. All food, drinks and even 4 different types of cigarettes are free and you can have them anytime. Besides the main restaurant which serves buffet breakfast and lunch, there are two other cafes/bars which serve food like steak, burgers, sandwiches, salads and all sorts of drinks. Cigarettes too of course. HAHA. Dinner is mostly ala carte, unless its BBQ night where it's a buffet as well. So practically, I didn't spend a cent, well except on the diving which I'll talk about later. Ah heaven (:

That's the MAIN bar of the resort. I usually frequented it before and after dinner (:

That's the main restaurant which serves the buffets. Excellent breakfasts (: Waffles, bacon, beef, chicken, salmon, cold cuts, eggs of all types, pancakes, sausages. It's safe to say, I made up for all the years of not eating breakfast in one week (: Shawne, don't drool.

The food from the other cafe. Pizza, sandwiches, burgers.

The fries are fucking awesome. Crispy as hell. I didn't have a single soggy fry all week.

Ok enough food. We did loads of water sports and activities too. That's us on a snorkelling trip around the various islands and we saw so many pretty fish and corals! And I look naked here. Sian.

That's Atif. He's our diving instructor. Cause Kevin, Caryin and I don't have a diving license, we can't go alone so we went with him and he's sucha great teacher. And I AM gonna get a license by next year. Who wants to learn with me?

Testing out the regulators.

Okay this was candid. So don't judge.

Final tests before going diving. Diving is like one of the best experiences of my life. I felt so free and the fish and marine life was so interesting to see from like 15m underwater. Sighh..

We also spent out time canoe-ing. Okay mostly me cause I love canoe-ing so when everyone else was like sleeping or lazing around, I went canoe-ing around the island. It's so peaceful to just sit there, on a vessel, in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Gave me a lot of time to think and contemplate about life, seriously.

Oh that's my room and that's a glass panel in the floor where you can see fish swimming. Cool shit.

That's the stairs from the back of my room that leads to the ocean, I'm walking under the villa just to show you the glass actually works.

See, that's my brother's feet and that's me under the villa. The glass works! Wow!

That's me swimming around, just 10m away from the villa. It's so clear and the fish are so cute la!

That's the scary fish that kept swimming towards my face.

There's a shower halfway up the stairs to wash away the sea water from your body. Sian so steam.

Part of the view from my room. That's the outside deck with the infinity jucuzzi. (:

That's the stairs that leads down to the ocean and that's the shower.

We went fishing too. A first for me.

And I caught the biggest fish that night. Okay with the help of that guy on the left of course.

I actually finished that book in 4 days. Really emo book.

That's where I tanned and read my book.

The infinity pool and that's the spa which I sadly didn't go to.

Chin up regime, which doesn't feel so bad when you're looking at the beautiful sunset. Check below. (:

That's all I'm gonna post for now.

I'll probably talk about more serious stuff I learnt and things I never knew about myself in the next post. But for now, hope the pictures satisfy (:

They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Oh heaven is a place on earth

Evolution

2010-08-01T18:38:00.007+08:00

It's been like about 3 months since my last post and I've been really busy since then with work and stuff. Yes army got work ok and it has been troubling me lately. I can't take a day off without the office calling me to check on stuff and I even had my off cancelled because of a meeting, such is a life of a detailer. SIAN.

Anyway, I was kinda bored and I was looking through some old photos of myself which I thought was quite cute. HAHA. Yes. So i shall share them with you, some you may have seen before but others I have never shown. So enjoy..

First day of my schooling life. So cute right? Awww..

SPOT ME! k la, 3rd from left, top row. Still so cute.

First ever zi pai shot (: Sec 3

OMG SO FAT. But first time wearing No. 1 for Speech Day. SIAN GOH LEH. Still Sec 3.

The legendary Mickey of 4E5. You are dearly missed.

Check out my old No. 4 pants. Classic sial.

First class outing to watch a dumb play. Haha. Sec 4.

I think it was like last day or something cause we were all taking pictures like mad.

We all look like priests. Haha.

"Graduation Dinner" in the fucking hall.

Mell steam sial.

Oh those were the dayss...

Sucha pretty picture. We were young, innocent and carefree.

Check out Shane's hair and Edmund's ass.

KATHYYLAU

Tai Hong, this one's for you (:

Sian, kenna bully.

My yacht. Nice right?

Vietnam. I wanna go back la.

Hello.

Special friend.

POP (: Best sec com ever.

Check out all the guys' hair.

Xin Nian Kuai Le to my primary school mates.

I love how we all look perfect.

This was taken like 2 days ago.

Ok so I was bored la. But i really miss the days when we were all carefree and had no worries, no army, no work, no liability. Now those days are gone and we can only look at photos to recall the wonderful times we had together.

I love all you wonderful people and I wouldn't change a thing, even if I could. (:

Evolution is a mystery
A small change that no one sees.
Clock makes a fool of history .
Yesterday's so long ago, don't agree with what I know .
Tomorrow becomes a place to be.

Take Me There

2010-05-14T22:24:00.002+08:00

I wanna know, everything about you.
And I wanna go, down every road you've been.
Where your hopes and dreams and wishes live, where you keep the rest of your life hid.
I wanna know the girl behind that pretty stare.
Take me there.

p.s. I've never wanted anything other than this okay? I love you (:

Down

2010-04-11T22:16:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time. Let's see if I still know how to do this.

Alright, I'm feeling a little down right now. I don't know if it's Tekong or the fact that I just received a letter from CPF telling me that I have to repay my school fees of $5,525.99 to my mother. Perhaps it's both and please don't get me wrong. I do not hate Tekong nor do I resent the fact that I have to pay back my mother's CPF account. It's just that I'm feeling generally sad.

I won't talk about my life as a Tekong medic here mostly because I just don't like talking about it and partially cause it's wrong to disclose any information pertaining to the army here. HURHUR.

Basically I have been told that I have to pay $100 every month for about 6 years to repay my debt and it's really not a lot of money but I guess it's a sign that I'm growing up. Many of my friends have turned 21 and it just seems so fast that we are all growing up. I guess it's time that I start assuming some responsibility and turning 21 also means that I have to have at least $500 in my bank accounts at anyone time and I have two different bank accounts which means I need at least $1000 which I cannot touch. Damn.

Someone get me a job? Maybe I'll be a tuition teacher or a camp instructor or a Medical staff somewhere. It's time to start thinking of the future. SIAN.

I am just feeling down down down down down, dooowwwn dooowwn. Thank God for you (:

So leave it behind cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape.
So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry.

I LOVE YOU.

Guys, shut up and stop asking.

E4406

2010-01-09T23:00:00.005+08:00

E4406. That was my 4D number back in BMT. For those of you who don't know, it stands for Eagle Platoon 4, Section 4, Bed 06. And it's funny how a few weeks after leaving the once dreaded island of Pulau Tekong, I am now looking back and dearly missing my 6 months spent there. It's very rare to spend such a long time serving your Basic Military Service. Most people spend either 9 weeks or 12 weeks there, depending on whether or not they pass their NAPFA test before enlistment. But for me and my fellow EXTREME OBESE brethren, we spent a good 26 weeks there. Yes, if you bother doing some math, you'll realise it's 6 whole months, half a year, a quarter of the standard tour of service for most NSFs.

I guess spending such a long time there really impacts you, whether you like it or not. I can still clearly recall how my platoon mates would spend our time in the bunk, working our asses off just so we could lose that extra 400g for our weekly weigh-ins. If we failed to lose any weight on any given week, we would have to stay back on Saturday for Remedial Training. Hence, we would all be so paranoid and skip the cordials and even ice creams given out at the cookhouse and do extra training at night, running up and down our narrow corridor.

We went through hell and high together, getting fucked for the slightest things but it made us appreciate the little moments of happiness and relaxation more. The commanders were indeed right, we would miss our BMT once we got posted to our new units and especially so for the soldiers of Eagle Company. I will never ever forget the wonderful memories I had there.

I guess what made me suddenly think back of my BMT was a song. How weird huh? But every morning, before we fell in for 5BX, we would just hang around the bunk, some guys re-reading the same old magazines again, others getting dressed and Richard Ling Kok Hong would be playing his mp3 on loudspeaker and the sounds of Owl City would be blasting. And I clearly remember him playing Saltwater Room and singing along to it every morning. That song just reminds me of the cold mornings in Tekong, and us getting ready to face the physical day ahead and how we matured so much, I guess.

If you haven't heard it, here you go. And the video is super cute please.

So tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love?

All the time, all the time.

A New Start

2010-01-01T22:00:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

As you can see, I'm in a rather jolly mood for a few reasons.

First of all, it's still like the Christmas season and if you know me, you know that I absolutely love Christmas. It's just such a warm and fuzzy time where the shopping malls and roads are jam packed with shoppers and merry makers. The mood is so festive and gay and like it's just indescribable. As some of you may also know, Christmas has always been a bad time for my relationships; I either break up, get rejected or just end up plain lonely and sad. But I think it's quite different this year and I hope I've broken my Christmas Curse.

Next, it's the New Year and although I spent my New Year's Eve guarding Nee Soon Camp WITHMYLIFE, I think it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I managed to speak to BEST whom I haven't heard from in like forever and we managed to iron out our issues. Okay maybe it was just me and I managed to iron out whatever issues I had with her and I feel so free now. Free like a bird, like a huge burden has been lifted off my weary shoulders. The phone call made everything so clear and I think I finally get it now. All I can say is, I'm so grateful you're still the same person I used to know and that things haven't really changed at all. (:

Being posted to Nee Soon Camp also makes it rather convenient to meet up with YOU! Haha. I'm so sorry we didn't get to go to town or anything like that and I really feel bad for being so tired and sleepy. I didn't get any sleep last night so you really have to forgive me. But I'm glad you're the first person I went out with this year and the first person I had breakfast with. Haha. See, I told you the sandwich was damn nice. But I do have to apologize for the lack of personal and private space. HAHA. Tomorrow alright? ;D I promise it'll be a good one baby. I love you (:

And besides all that, there's this happiness I'm feeling. I don't know where it's coming from but I'm liking it. I won't make any resolutions this year because I'm actually very very very bad at keeping promises, you guys should know. So I will just pray for God to give me guidance and wisdom to help me thru this year. He has always been there for me and give me what I truly need and deserve and sometimes even what I don't deserve. I am so grateful to You, Daddy in heaven. I pray you continue to bless me with your wonderful gifts and bless all those around me.

For those of you who don't already know. I have POP-ed and I've been posted to SAF Medical Training Institute as a Combat Medic. I guess it's a good posting mostly because I get to learn super cool stuff to do with medicine and like I can pretend I'm McDreamy all the time. But I also thing that the skills are really useful even when I'm not in the army anymore. And it's kinda opening up my future options, like maybe, just maybe I'll wanna be a doctor or a Psychiatrist or something along those lines. Haha. See how la, hor?

And here's a video Tai Hong just showed me which I think is really lame but extremely hilarious at the same time. To all NSFs' here's a song about your 3 favourite words:

CHAO CHEE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Of Birthdays and Presents

2009-11-15T15:00:00.002+08:00

As you may already know, my 20th birthday just passed a few days ago and it was spent in camp. I'm not really one to celebrate my birthday just because I think it's not that big a deal, I mean it's just another day right? And I dont usually get presents maybe because I'm a guy?

Haha but I was really touched when I got this card from my platoon mates. I dont really have time now so I'll post it up another day but it was really a damn sweet gesture. Like my sergeant went through the trouble to make a card out of cut outs from magazines and all my platoon mates wrote and signed on it. It's actually the first time someone has done something like that for me in all my twenty years. And I dont think there's a place I'd rather spend my birthday then in camp. It's where I've spent the last 5 months of so of my life and I'm getting really used to it. We are all looking forward to POP in about 3 weeks but I think no where else would feel as homely as BMT. I've found really great friends and sergeants. Thank You guys.

And for Kevin's birthday which is today, Ben and Ash bought him Rockband! Damn cool right and they also got The Beatles Rockband which I'm so totally into. It's super fun la. I spent my weekend just playing it, so un-like me okay.

Oh Christmas is coming soon and I'm gonna have a POP/Christmas Party at the same time. I know a bit cheapskate but NSF la, BO PIAN. I love Christmas la. It's my favourite holiday of all because the weather is always so nice and it's like the end of the year. But somehow something bad always happens during that time. Sighh. AH WELL......

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas Day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray

p.s. so hurry back home, cause I miss you so.

Miss You Nights

2009-10-25T16:24:00.003+08:00

If there's something NS has taught me, it's to cherish the people around you. The army has made me realise the important things in life. I now know what a great life I have had before and the incredible people in it.

What I'm trying to say is, I fucking miss my friends. I miss Tai Hong, Shawne, Linus, Ruhan, Mell, Ariel, Shane, Kar Mun, Lena and the rest who dont read my blog. HAHA. No but seriously, when the training gets boring or tiring or just plain dumb, I think about you people and the times we had. Maybe it didnt mean much back then but looking back, I guess I really had a wonderful time with you guys. I wouldnt mind re-living those great experiences again, even if it means having to do projects, tutorials and assignments all over again because they are all worth it. I really love you guys and life is just meaningless without you.

Haha. Not being emo or anything la. I just had an urge to write all that down.

I have also come to realise that listening to Westlife makes me a very happy boy ((:

and I know that an hour or two a week is not enough. But that's what I told you to expect before we got ourselves into this. I'm sorry if that's too little for you but I'm really trying my best. I hope you continue to be understanding and thanks for always being a listening ear and tolerating my tiredness. Haha. (:

Midnight diamonds stud my heaven
Southward burning like the jewels that eye your place
And warm winds that embrace me
Just as surely kissed your face
Yeah those miss you nights they're the longest

p.s. calling all BMTC School 1 NSF : let's go shopping on 26th Nov. It's Cohesion Day so we get a day off. (:

Official Business

2009-10-04T16:59:00.003+08:00

There are certain things in life that are unspoken rules and norms that do not require official documents or laws to be passed for us to abide by. For example, snatching the microphone away from a pretty young girl giving a speech is not a crime but it may lead to yourself being called a jackass by the most powerful person in the world. I'm not referring to anyone in particular here.

But sometimes, making something official kinda gives people more trust, faith and confidence. Like relationships for instance, a guy and a girl may be "un-officially" together but act exactly like a couple. But there is something rather incomplete about that union. I guess it's the fact that both parties don't have that assurance that they are in fact an item. Okay I just realised that everything I have just typed is kinda bo liao and useless. Haha. Right, time to change the topic.

I'll be booking in soon and the next two weeks will be the most tiring of my BMT life I think. Like I have IFC lessons this coming week and the following week is my field camp. WOOHOO! 5 days of no bathing, shitting and changing clothes! I better stock up on some pills that make you shit like free. Perhaps some powerful facial scrubs too. I totally can foresee a break out.

I have been thinking of my vocation recently and I've kinda decided that if I don't get to MP, I wanna be a clerk. Haha. Quite loser right? But like clerks get to go home everyday, they stay in an air-con room and have it relatively easy. And besides, there's nothing else I really wanna be. I don't wanna go to Armour, Arti, Rifleman, Medic, Storeman and stuff. So it's either MP or clerk la. Sian. And I dont wanna go Command School. I dont think I can make it either. FUCK SBJ!

I'm sorry we can only meet like once every two weeks and stuff. I'd love to see you more but I cant and you know it. I hope now that things are more or less confirmed, your expectations dont change and I hope things can remain as they are or get better. I really dont wanna disappoint you like I have in the past.

You came into my world
No diamonds or pearls
Just like a castle of sand
Girl, I almost let love slip right out of my hands
And just like a flower needs rain
I will stand by your side through the joy and the pain

beachy

2009-09-20T19:11:00.002+08:00

After much much much persuasion from everyone, I have decided to change my blogskin. I don't see what was so bad about the previous one but I guess it's time for a change. Block leave is over and I'm going back later on because I have guard duty tomorrow. Ah well, it's a learning opportunity for me I guess, since I have never done guard duty before.

The week passed by pretty quickly, as expected but I guess I did all I wanted to, met the people I wanted to (well almost, tsk) and rested all I could. It is kinda depressing to just stay home and do nothing you know? I think I should be back in camp where at least I feel like I am accomplishing something even though it's like tiring and sian and we almost always get fucked. But that's life I guess, you won't appreciate something unless you've worked hard to acheive it. I mean I really dont mind slacking my ass off at home or spending time with YOU, but there are other things to do for now. (:

I hope to see Shawne and TH and Ah Neh and the rest in camp, cant wait to see how hot they look with their new haircuts. Sian. Oh well, you guys will hear from me soon la. Probably not next week, but soon enough.

BYE for now. I haven't even packed my bag. TSK!

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you

If Today Was Your Last Day

2009-09-06T00:10:00.001+08:00

I'm really glad that Th and the gang had that chalet yesterday. I mean, it turned out as all chalets do, people getting really high, drunk and passing out. But still, it was a good opportunity for all of us to see each other again. I truly missed everyone in LRM. I can safely say it was the best time of my life and I really treasure every experience I shared with my poly friends. You guys were the ones that made life in school so much more tolerable and it was a pleasure to go to school everyday just so I can see all of you.

Someone told me last night at the chalet that I've changed, and she wasn't referring to my physical self. And after thinking about it, I guess I have. I mean before NS, I would have gladly drunk with Linus and everyone and probably even go smoke with them. But I guess the army has kinda made me more sober. I don't really see the point in doing all that anymore. In fact, I kinda found it disturbing that they were all making so much noise and getting high. I mean this is totally not me at all la. Probably I'm getting older? Haha. I don't know la but somehow I have different priorities now. Maybe I'll go back to my old self after NS; who knows? But for now, I like where I'm at.

I would also like to thank someone very important and very influencial to me in the army. I'm not gonna mention who but I really look up to him. I've heard a lot of negative things about him from people I barely even know and I actually wondered if it was all true. But after thinking things through, I realise that perhaps they are just jealous of what he has accomplished. I really respect him and I appreciate him for giving us advice, not pertaining just to NS life but also to our own lives and the world. It really gives me a different perspective on life in general.

For the guys who are enlisting this coming week, I really wish you all the best in your BMT. I pray that you have great commanders and platoon mates that are supportive and helpful. They will be the ones that will help you through the 4 months there. Remember, just take things in your stride and try as much as possible to laugh. Seriously, laughing and joking around will make life there seem better.

Life is great. I have no idea why I feel like this but I really appreciate what I have now. My parents, my friends, and even though I have to serve a longer BMT than most people who are all gonna POP soon, I'm glad that I'll be serving it alongside my friends. (:

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
S o live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?

Home

2009-08-08T23:46:00.000+08:00

Yes people. I was supposed to do Guard Duty this week but in an unexpected turn of events, my duty was cancelled and other people have to do it. Don't ask me how or why, but that's just that okay. So I get to spend this long weekend at home, with my family.

After going to NS, I've come to realise the importance of family. I feel that NS has brought me even closer to my family, although we spend less time together. Especially with my brothers. I feel somewhat closer to them and I actually feel genunine care and concern for them, something I've not felt before. Like I've seen people being like loving and close to their siblings and I'm usually like, what's up with that man? But I'm starting to get it. And no matter what happens, family always comes first.

For the guys out there, you may dread NS and the regimentation and all the crap you may have to take, but also remember why you're doing it, what you're defending. I know I'm protecting the people I love, my family, my friends and people who make Singapore what it is today. Sometimes it takes something severe and painful for you to realise how important the people around you are and how you suddenly shouldnt take anything for granted.

No matter what happens, always remember that God is always watching over us, protecting us and looking after us. All we need to do is bow down our heads and give our all to Him. Even for just a minute, devote everything to Him, your joys, your sorrows, your worries, your problems, your anxieties. Because I believe in Him and that He will always provide. So, let's take some time off to pray. Pray for the wisdom to know what you want and pray that He will always lead you on the right path and help you, regardless of your race, language or religon.

And that leads me on to National Day. Aiya, what can I say? haha.

Oh and Happy Birthday Celine (:

We had fun, didnt we? Haha.

This is home truly,
where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me,
where that river always flows
This is home surely,
as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone,
for this is where I know it's home.

HELP!

2009-08-02T00:57:00.002+08:00

Haha. Yes people. I think I've gone mad. Look at my new skin la. I have no idea why I decided to get this one but I have and I think it's gonna be around for awhile. Anyway, the reason I changed it was because my old one was giving me some problems and I couldnt post at all. So yea, this was second best I guess. Haha.

Oh I have guard duty next week, on National Day. Like what better present can I give to Singapore than my time right? Like spending the entire 24 hours guarding Pulau Tekong from external threats. I dont think I can really fight off anything bigger than a rabbit with the baton and rattan shield though. Sian. On the plus side, they're giving us KFC for our meals and my Sec Com is the guard commander that day so it shouldn't be too bad. (:

Other than that, army life is still like that lor. Nothing new. Last week was qutie tiring, PT for every lesson. It's either AC and ST or AC and IST everyday. Not surprisingly, many people got leg injuries. Yup oh and I'm quite glad that I've lost 10kg so far. I know there's still a really long way to go but at least this is a start. Just hope I don't turn out like TH. Haha, nothing wrong with TH la but you know. ((:

You Know I’m A Dreamer
But My Heart’s Of Gold
I Had To Run Away High
So I Wouldn’t Come Home Low
Just When Things Went Right
It Doesn’t Mean They Were Always Wrong

my rifle and my buddy and meee

2009-07-19T00:01:00.004+08:00

I just got my rifle/wife/baby/confinement catalyst on thursday and it felt good. I've kinda liked weapons since NCC, like when we were using the M16 and all. I just love how it feels when you hold it, when you cock it, when you strip it, when you assemble it, when you shoot it, and when you get fucked for dropping it.

Although I have barely any idea how the SAR-21 really works and operates, I'm really eager to learn. I can't wait when they teach us how to strip and assemble it. So fun, omg. Haha. But it's also an added responsibility. Like I said, it's a confinement catalyst. Any missing part, any misfire, any shit I do will have implications on myself but it's something I'm willing to be accountable for. Like we said, with this rifle, I'll defend my country.

People around me seem to think I'm enjoying myself in the army. Well, it's not totally false but there are many times I wish I was at home, just resting or out with my friends, or even *gulps*clubbingatthebutterfactory*gulps*. But it's a really mental thing. When shit comes, when it's boring and repititve, when it becomes sian, you just have to remind yourself the reason you're there and the motivation for being there. I guess that's the most important thing to endure BMT,SISPEC,OCS or any other endeavour in life. There should always be an objective and motivation for going through anything. Even though my motivation right now is kinda, erm how should I say, indifferent at the moment, I'm still trying my best to go through this. So all you NSF out there, ENDURE!

And I wanna go shopping. Sian la, that day go also everything I choose Mell say ugly. I need a shopping buddy or something man. And I really really really want that very pretty white River Island bag that costs $117. It has like two stripes at the sides. Aiya you go River Island sure can see one, it's the most Warren bag there. Sighhhh. Can you all go and check it out and tell me if I should get it. Please please. THANKS (:

why you so like that ah? bu dong laaaa. *please ignore*

Purple light, at the war front.

That is where, my buddy lies.

If I die, will you bury me?

With my rifle and my buddy and me?

BMT

2009-06-30T15:26:00.002+08:00

Well the first two weeks of NS have been relatively alright for me. I mean it's our adjustment period and I feel they haven't really fucked us up yet. But I'm expecting a lot more punishments once we book in later on. No more chances. Haha.

I guess that's what BMT is about right. Just following orders and being screwed when something goes wrong. I'm not really complaining about the army or anything, just that I'm quite bored right now. Haha. I have nothing much to do till I book in later at 1825. Thank God for the outing yesterday guys. If not I wouldn't know what to do with myself at all. Haha.

Anyway, I'm doing okay so far. Quite happy la, lost 2kg and some cm off my waist. Sian Brad Pitt, here I come. Hahhaha. And I love the fact that my quads can actually be seen quite clearly now, must be the climbing 5 storeys many times a day. Aiya write so much for what. Haha. There isn't really anything or anyone out here that really bothers right? HAH.

Alright, off I go to find something to occupy my time till I book in again.

The sun will shine, the birds will sing
For us, for you and me ah.
We are from Platoon 4, Eagle Company ah.

((:

Hero of War

2009-06-13T01:05:00.002+08:00

I couldn't find the Official Music Video for this song but I guess this is second best. I happened to come across the video today while watching MTV and it all makes more sense to me now.

Like I dont know if I'm weird, but like I actually don't mind going to the army. And I'm not really dreading it or anything. But everyone around me is like feeling so sian to enlist and even some girls I know who aren't even enlisting are feeling sian. Like why so negative everyone? It's the army, it'll be good for you. You may not enjoy it, but it's still good for you what. And shouldn't we do our duty as citizens of Singapore and go through National Service? I know it's gonna be a really tough, lonely, sian, tiring and emo 2 years but I'm sure we will learn so much after we come out.

So dear friends, please try to look at NS in a more positive light. It may not be perfect but it's our country we're defending.

I'll carry this flag
To the grave if I must
Because it's a flag that I love
And a flag that I trust

the traveller's palm's last holiday

2009-06-08T00:39:00.008+08:00

Today was a really interesting day for me. I had to wake up like early in the morning at 9.30a.m. because my mother asked me to cut down and remove this huge Traveller's Palm that's outside my house. It was already growing off the side of the road and hitting cars when they drive past and she also feared that it may uproot the pavement and all. So whatever la. And I have ever tried cutting down trees in my old place before and it is no easy feat I tell you.

Anyway, I was quite happy cause it was a bright sunny hot day which meant that I could also get a nice tan while cutting down the tree, and I think I did la. Black is the new Black man, seriously.

For those of you who have never been to my house or who have never seen a Traveller's Palm, this is what it looks like. Oh and that's my swing where I always emo, preferably with a cigar and whisky. (:

My weapons of choice. Very useful la.

This was the easy part, like just chopping the top off so that it's easier to manage. FYI, there is a lot of water stored in the stem which can breed mosquitoes. So for those of you who have such palms at home, please jab the bottom of the stem every week to let the water drain out. Remember, IF THEY BREED, YOU WILL BLEED. STOP DENGUE. ACT NOW!

Now this was the fucked up part. The roots were really very deep in the soil and it took like about 45 minutes worth of digging around it to remove that stub. It really reminded me of an artichoke. I have no idea why though.

Like finally. It finally gave way and that piece of plant there is so damn heavy okay. Like seriously it was so bulky like a car engine.

So the whole tree was thrown away and my mother and brother started planting new flowers and plants around there.

Hence, ends the story of The Traveller's Palm.

Shit i just realised I have another mini traveller's palm growing in the garden too. Better remove it before it gives us hell.

On to other things. This week will be kinda like my final week of freedom. I'm not really dreading the army or anything la. Anyway, it will do me good and it can help pass my time before I finally decide what I wanna study.

I'll be meeting up with a lot of really important people this week, people that have kinda helped me through the years, since primary and secondary school till now. People that I have time and again taken for granted, made use of and thrown to one side. I guess this is the last time I can tell them how much they mean to me and how much I love and appreciate everything that they've done for me and put up with.

N, M, H, R&K, I love you guys.

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me

crazy nights.

2009-05-28T02:58:00.019+08:00

The organizer checking in to our room.

The bloody unhealthy things we consumed over 2 nights.

Trying to figure out why the air cons dont work. We only realised that we didn't plug the key in.

TTH STEAM.

SUPERMODEL PLS!

Shawne damn funny la.

Tio Dare.

Shawne's new DP.

Fucking messed up my bedroom.

Mr. LA JI.

Sian.

Spa.

Fuck Jagermeister and JagerBombs.

Heng ah. She doesn't read my blog anymore.

You like?

I likeee.

BU DONG LA.

Fuck alcohol.

Dunno what he doing la.

p.s. Thanks Shawne. We had loads of fun (:

Be Not Afraid

2009-05-22T00:29:00.002+08:00

A few things are making me quite sian today.

First, I couldn't get proper sleep because there's bloody noisy construction going on next door. And that seriously does not help a hang over.

Second, Adam Lambert didn't win. Like Kris?? Why? How? What? FUCK! KNNBCCB

Third, just when I thought I nothing could make me sad after that night, I was proven wrong once again. I guess I'm just hoping too much. I guess I'm like over-thinking things. I really like to put all my faith in you but I don't know. I just end up getting hurt all over again. I know I should not be hoping or wishing for anything but I really can't help myself. SIGH.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed myself last night at Butter Fac. I enjoyed myself so much more than I thought I would. You guys are just incredible to club with. I'm honestly looking forward to 3 June. And please please let it be at Home Club. I really dont wanna go to LC Double O.

Today I went to church and while singing the song below, I almost burst into tears. I dont know why, but everytime I sing it, I just feel like crying. Like no matter what, how bad the situation you may be in, how deep in shit you are in, God is always there. Always. (:

You shall cross the barren desert,
But you shall not die of thirst.
You shall wander far in safety
Though you do not know the way.
You shall speak your words in foreign lands
And all will understand.
You shall see the face of God and live.

Be not afraid. I go before you always.
Come, follow me, and I will give you rest.

If you pass through raging waters
In the sea, you shall not drown.
If you walk amid the burning flames,
You shall not be harmed.
If you stand before the pow’r of hell
And death is at your side,
Know that I am with you through it all.

Be not afraid. I go before you always.
Come, follow me, and I will give you rest.

Blessed are your poor, for the kingdom shall be theirs.
Blest are you that weep and mourn,
For one day you shall laugh.
And if wicked tongues insult and hate you
All because of me,blessed, blessed are you!

Letter of Complaint

2009-05-12T15:48:00.001+08:00

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to express my utmost disappointment in one of your security officers working at the Marina Barrage. I am extremely appalled by his ability to falsely accuse me for not only smoking, but also throwing my cigarette butt into the reservoir. His words insinuated that I am a liar, smoker as well as someone who does not care for the environment at all. All of which, are very much untrue.

I was at the Marina Barrage on the 12th of May 2009 at around 2.35a.m. when the incident occurred. My two friends and I were at one of the pavilions along the Marina Bridge enjoying the magnificent scenery of the Singapore City skyline in the early hours of the morning. One of my friends started smoking because she was unaware that it was prohibited since there was no sign disallowing it at the pavilion. Furthermore, she noticed many cigarette butts on the ground; hence she assumed that it was alright to smoke. She was sitting down while I was leaning against the railing looking out to the waters.

Moments later, a young Malay security officer came approached us and told my friend that smoking was not allowed. She was very apologetic and explained that she did not know it was prohibited and immediately put out her cigarette. At that moment I turned from the waters to look at what was going on and he looked to me and told me not to smoke there as well. I was shocked because I was not smoking at all and I explained it to him. He also told me not to throw my cigarette butt in the water even after I told him I was not smoking. He then proceeded to warn my friend against smoking there in future and once again, he looked to me and told me not to throw my cigarette in the water. At that point, I was extremely frustrated and angered by his false accusations against me. We decided to leave the barrage and head off to another location.

I have no qualms about him telling my friend to stop smoking as it may be the law there and it is his job to do so. However, I do not believe it is in his job scope to fabricate lies and stories about visitors to the barrage. It is a world class facility with international visitors coming in from all over the world to appreciate its brilliance, however, I do not wish for them to experience the same “service” I did. I do not believe you would like others to associate the Marina Barrage as a place where they get accused for things they never did.

As such, I would greatly appreciate your prompt response to this matter and that proper measures are put in place so that future incidents like this do not occur.

Yours Sincerely,
Warren Elliot Wee
(+65) 9297-7289
warren-elliot@hotmail.com

rollercoaster

2009-05-11T00:07:00.003+08:00

Just when I think you're different, you always manage to disappoint me. I seriously have no idea what to do anymore. Really. Just tell me what makes a man smile when you're around and cry when you're apart so I can get over you.

I still haven't got over it even now.
I want to spend huge amounts of time on my own.
I don't want to cause any serious damage.
I want to make sure that I can manage, because I'm not really in your head.
I'm not really in your head.

And my life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway.
The names may have been changed
but the faces are the same.
The names may have been changed
but as people we're not the same.

rongchie

2009-05-07T01:17:00.002+08:00

Seeing and talking to you today brought back so many memories. What you said really re-affirmed my belief in karma and I'm getting what I deserve right now, what I did to you.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I wasn't lying when I said I love you.

careless whisper

2009-05-06T01:56:00.005+08:00

I wonder what I'm doing online every night. Like I dont think it matters whether I'm online or not. It's not like I talk to anyone besides Tai Hong. I look around facebook and people's blogs but I'll just get bored after awhile, hence the incessant amount of quizzes I've been doing. I don't think anyone ever reads this blog anymore either. Haha, it's always the same story, either I'm emo or bored or loser. I have no idea what has happened to me, seriously.

I have nothing to do the entire week and I guess that's good la. At least can save some money. And recently, a few not too deseriable things have happened. I just pray that everything turns out well for them. God, please have mercy. I think the only thing I'm looking forward to is cycling tomorrow and the days after. At least I can get some exercise, fresh air and do it all with no cost involved at all! Talk about barjet huh. Oh and did I mention how beautiful the Changi park connector is? Damn scenic please, that's where they filmed fighting spiders I think, it's the only place I know that looks like that with those tall trees. Sigh.

I am lonely. Yes I am. And it doesn't help when characters from my past keeping popping up here and there.

Time can never mend
the careless whispers of a good friend.
To the heart and mind
ignorance is kind.
There's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find.

just dance

2009-05-03T01:15:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to blog about anymore. I have close to no life now. My days are spent waiting for someone to call me out for a movie or shopping or just to chill. So if you are as bored and broke as me, please give me a call and we can both discuss what to do on a barjet.

I'm not really one to blog about my day in a very precise manner but I think I shall do that today since there isn't really anything left to talk about. Well, I woke up at 11 and went to school to collect my graduation gown. Quite fast. The gown quite ugly.

Then Kenneth picked me up and we went to the Turf Club with Shane as well. I was the only one who chose a winning horse. GOOD DAY. So cute lor. We won $162 but in the end we split at got $54 each. And after lessing away our initial expenses of $30, we made a profit of about $24 which was spent later on dinner and a Corona.

Then quite screwed up la, after the super nice claypot rice at Chinatown, we went to chill in Kenneth's car at Marina South Pier listening to Westlife songs. Tai Hong, you should've been there lor. Damn nice la. Anyway, quite screwed up because we were supposed to meet Th and gang at Arab St. for shisha but in the end, everywhere was so crowded and we ended up at Blue Jazz. And QingYun was so hungry so she ordered food only to realise that the kitchen was already closed. So she wasted her effort coming all the way to Arab St and waiting there for so long, at least I had my Corona la. Then we walked around Kampong Glam looking for Chinese food, like WTH right?! Confirm dont have la. Sian. Then after that went home lor, while the rest went to Bugis to find food. I hope they did la.

WAH THAT WAS SO TIRING AND BORING. I ALMOST FELL ASLEEP WRITING THAT. I dunno how some people can blog like that lor. Sian.

I dont know what to feel anymore now, really. Like one moment I'm so damn happy and the next, I'm just so sad and indifferent. I know nothing can ever happen so I don't know why I'm still like this. I should really stick to what I say and just give up totally. But how can I give up when that's the only thing that can make me happy, seriously. Sigh. I am honestly so lost now, just a wandering soul waiting to serve his country. Haha. Oh I like my new watch for NS.

I just feel like dancing now. Waltz, slow dance, anything. I just wanna listen to Westlife songs and dance now. Sian. I'm in a dancing kinda mood. Haha. Dance partner anyone?

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I cant help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I cant help falling in love with you

p.s. you really look so happy today. HAHAHA.

flying without wings

2009-04-29T02:15:00.002+08:00

When you can't be happy for yourself cause there isn't much that is making you happy, the next best thing is to be happy for someone else. And strangely enough, I'm quite happy for Tai Hong. He has kinda found something that makes him happy, and I know that feeling, it's one of the best feelings in the world. Seeing you so happy and excited and vulnerable just gives me so much hope and joy. I hope everything goes according to how it should. You've been waiting a long time already (:

Sian, why did that sound so gay.

Anyway, my current favourite song, Flying Without Wings is really so nice la. I used to hate it and all but after listening to it again, I think there's just so much meaning to it and we all can relate to it, hor Tai Hong? Haha. WESTLIFE ROCKS LA!

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

p.s. I wanna know how it's like to fly without wings. Sigh.

16 June 2009

2009-04-24T18:23:00.003+08:00

You can somewhat say that I've been looking forward to receiving my enlistment letter since joining NCC in secondary school. Now, it has become all too real. I guess it is apt that I enter at this point in my life. I have nothing to look forward to besides enlisting, my life at the moment is really really stagnant and meaningless. Thank God for NS, if not I wouldn't know what to do for the next two years, seriously.

Life is what you make of it. For those of you who are enlisting and not looking forward to it, maybe just have a change of mindset? It won't help if you have negative sentiments towards it before even going in. Just think of all the positive benefits it'll do for you, for your body and the discipline you'll get out of it. I know it won't be an easy, enjoyable walk in the park but don't dread it la, it'll only make things worst.

So make full use of whatever time you have left before enlisting and just go in with a positive and humble attitude. It'll really help.

I kinda wish I could enlist like tomorrow or something. There's nothing or no one here that really cares anyway right? (:

Training to be soldiers,
We fight for our land.
Once in our lives,
Two years of our time.
Have you ever wondered,
Why must we serve?
Because we love our land,
And we want it to be free, to be free.

sweet dreams are made of these

2009-04-20T00:26:00.003+08:00

For the first time in a long time, I had a really really nice dream last night.

It's what you can call, a sweet dream.

I hope dreams come true. (:

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

p.s. 140 laps in 2 days is not something I'd like to try again soon.
p.p.s I hate Tai Hong lor. Now I'm addicted to all the love songs he sent me and my brothers are scolding me for being gay.

atas nama cinta

2009-04-19T01:15:00.002+08:00

It's so funny how God works. Truly, He will only help those who help themselves. After all these months, when I finally took up the courage and lowered my pride and forgave her, she called me out of the blue and we had one of our best conversations ever.

It was so good talking to you like that after all that has happened. I'm sorry it had to be under those kinda circumstances and I hope that all will get better soon. But God does work in the most unexpected of ways.

And after going to church today, I feel much better. How apt as today was Divine Mercy Sunday, and the entire theme was about God's mercy and forgiveness. I love God and I love you! (:

What we had was really special to me and I'll never forget it, ever.

Atas nama cinta
Hati ini tak mungkin terbagi
Sampai nanti bila aku mati
Cinta ini hanya untuk engkau
Atas nama cinta
Kurelakan jalanku merana
Asal engkau akhirnya denganku
Kubersumpah atas nama cinta

highway to hell

2009-04-17T23:07:00.002+08:00

I just got back from Genting and I really need to go on a detox diet man. It was kinda my first time going on holiday with just guys and it was more fun than I expected. We could do and say whatever we wanted without much care, not that we restrict ourselves when there are girls around la but you know, more freedom I guess?

We also kinda made a pact not to mention whatever happened in Genting to anyone back home but I dunno if the traitor who created The Ladies Club is gonna squeal. TTH, you better shut up hor. What happens in Genting stays in Genting. All I can say is, after everything we did, and especially what I did, I think I'm going to hell. Seriously. I hope God will forgive me man, if not, not one else will.

Although there weren't a whole lot of exciting things to do, it was all still good. Highlights include taking the Pirate Ship ride with Kenneth, Desmond and Tai Hong a total of 11 times. Damn steam la. The food at the Mushroom Farm was also really good and bloody cheap and the driver was damn zai la, I think he was Jay Chou's stunt driver in Initial D.

Still, I dont think I'll be going back there anytime soon la. I'd still rather go to a beach destination but how to say leh? No money. Oh and the coach was bloody good la. To everyone out there, PLEASE TAKE TRANSTAR FIRST CLASS COACH IF YOU ARE EVER GOING TO MALAYSIA. IT'S BETTER THAN A FIRST CLASS FLIGHT LOR. Sian, free publicity.

On a side note, I think I've decided to really forgive and move on with my life. I should really stop sulking and wallowing in my own self pity and loserness. I'm sorry for my childish behaviour thus far. I think the only reason I've been acting like this is because of my ego and nothing else. It's time to move on and be happy for you and for him and for me. And you can thank Westlife for this. After listening to The Dance by Westlife a couple of times, I finally understood the true meaning of the song and it's just not me to be emo and all. I like being happy and cheerful and it's time I got my life back. I still love you BCBG (:

Looking back on the memory
Of the dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

night

2009-04-13T23:22:00.002+08:00

It's one of those nights. I haven't experienced such a night in some time but it's coming back now. It could be the Westlife songs that I've been listening to lately all thanks to Teo Tai Hong. But seriously, I love their songs la. I didn't know they had so many love songs and all of them actually make sense and are nice to listen to. And I don't care if you call me gay la, they're nice. Just that it makes you feel a little emo and all. Haha.

I hope my NS enlistment letter comes soon la. At least then I'll have something to look forward to. I don't like having empty nights and nothing to do and no money to do anything. I am seriously so broke right now. I haven't been this poor in a very very long time. Recession la, sian.

Anyway, Tai Hong, I kinda know how you're feeling now. It's a great feeling isn't it? There is nothing quite like falling in love/liking someone, even though you barely know her. Haha, you'll either get over it soon or never at all like some people I know. *Ahem* I wish you all the best with her and even if nothing comes out of it, enjoy the process.

My current favourite old Westlife song..

What makes her so right?
Is it the sound of her laugh?
That look in her eyes
When do you decide?
She is the dream that you seek
That force in your life

Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So I can get over you

p.s. i hope they have a concert here soon. i'll be the first in line to get tickets.

The Passion of our Lord

2009-04-10T23:43:00.003+08:00

We were singing this song in church today and last week and I thought it was really beautiful song. I've never heard it in all my 20 years of going to mass or maybe I just didn't realise it. Please do take a listen to the song and watch the video, it's really good. Although I didn't really cry during this year's Good Friday service, I still felt kinda guilty for everything.

Sometimes, we focus on our own selfish desires and forget that there are people around us who have feelings too. Every time I sin, it's like I'm inflicting more pain on Him. We should all smile and make the world a better place. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. (:

Down the Via Dolorosa,
called the way of suffering.
Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King.
But He chose to walk that road
out of His love for you and me.
Down the Via Dolorosa,
all the way to Calvary.

p.s. I hope you're having fun over there.
p.p.s. I knew I'd eat my words about clubbing. Urgh.

Have you ever?

2009-04-07T23:54:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wondered..
What if you had never been born?

Would it be better for your parents and family?
Would they be less financially burdened?
Would they be happier?
Would they have less things to worry about?
Would they have less disappointments?
Would you have hurt less people around you?
Would you have spared girls from heart break?
Would God have one extra Guardian Angel to give to someone more deserving?

Please don't ask me why I'm so emo and all. If I want you to know, I'd have told you already. If I didn't tell you, don't ask.

Anyway, I would like to thank a few people for making me feel better. You may think that you didn't do anything but trust me, that's what I need to make me feel better.

Michelle. Thanks for being such a great friend these past few weeks. I know you have problems of your own but thanks for listening to my constant whining. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get out of the house yesterday. I think I would have died if I stayed at home. Thanks for the movie too, it was really good. I'm sorry if you felt awkward when meeting my friends, I really didn't know there would be so many people. Haha. Well, all the best for your trip and have lots of fun okay? Take many pictures and buy many clothes! I hope things between you and him improve too(: Ah, you never come here, so I doubt you'll read this but nvm. Haha.

Tai Hong. Thanks ah, I didnt realise I was your best girl friend. Thanks for always being there and listening to my unmanly problems all the time. You're a really great guy and I hope you get a really great girl to match. You deserve it. Thanks also for the Korean dramas, but please stop making me watch them. I'm emo enough as it is, I dont need to read chinese subtitles to make me feel worse.

Lilian. Thanks for being the most unjudgemental person I know. I'm glad you trust me enough to share all your personal "endavours" with me. Thanks for the pasta, Next, Viceroy, Sampoerna, teh peng and chat. I can always share everything with you and you never look at me differently. (:

I'm feeling better. So ya, thanks guys. Love you all very much.

I was addicted to this song when I first heard it in like Sec 2 and I've always been at awe with how much patriotism Americans had for their country. I know I'm not American and all but my trip to Hawaii made me kinda wanna apply for a Green Card and study there. I dont know la. Well, I guess it really is the greatest country in the world. The feeling you have there is just so different from anywhere else I've been. I'm sure you'll enjoy your time there. (:

And I’m proud to be an American
Where at least I know I’m free
And I wont forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me
And I gladly stand up
Next to you and defend her still today
Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA

you're so vain

2009-04-06T01:07:00.003+08:00

If you think this song is really about you, then you really are vain. HAHA.

I wasn't the favourite, I know. I know I'm not the best and sometimes I wish I hadn't been born. I wouldn't have to burden you and cause so many problems. I'll try to stay out of your faces from now on. I'll try not to have anything to do with you guys from now on.

Sometimes, I just wish I could run away with you and never come back, and we'd live happily ever after. But fairytales don't always come true right? Sigh.

I wanna go back to that happier time. I really do.

Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

if i let you go

2009-04-04T04:09:00.002+08:00

Don't you just love Westlife? ((:

This post is dedicated to Teo Tai Hong and myself. We need courage. Haha.

Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I've gotta choose

p.s. Sorry for the spanish subtitles. This was the only video that allowed me to embed the html.

accidentally in love

2009-04-03T04:18:00.002+08:00

This is one of the few all time favourite songs of mine that can make me smile just by listening to it. It reminds me of a time where life was much simpler and happier, where I didn't have any worries and the only thing I had to concentrate on was Secondary 3 Chinese.

However, that was also a time in my life where I made many mistakes, hurt many people and didn't realise it. I was self-righteous, sanctimonious, hypocytical and pompus all at once. Sorry to those I've hurt.

Still, those were good times and I'd re-live them all over again if I could. I'd treat you better.

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

unbeautiful

2009-04-01T02:13:00.002+08:00

This is a very very nice song and she has a very very nice voice.

I've been told
Whats done is done
To let it go
And carry on
And deep inside
I know that’s true
I'm stuck in time
I'm stuck on you
We were still untouchable

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Cause I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful

the obligatory grad night post

2009-03-30T03:03:00.005+08:00

I won't say much about the grad night because everything is on Facebook; the pictures and videos say it all.

Publications Committee

I would like to extend my sincerest gratitude as well as apologies to the Publications Committee. Although I was given the responsibility of the editor, I did not perform my duties to the best of my abilities. I felt that I did not do much at all to contribute to the Graduation Publication. I honestly feel my name and face should not be in the book under the committee. I am really sorry to let you guys down.

I am also very thankful that despite this, you have still considered me a part of this group and especially to Ariel for presenting me with that surprise gift on stage. I am extremely grateful to you. You guys are just wonderful people who do not look at flaws but concentrate on the strengths of an individual.

The two people that made the entire Graduation Committee possible. Ariel and Bernard.

Ariel
You are indeed a blessing from God. You are the kind of person everyone wants to be around because you just emit light and happiness and positivity. You never put people down and you're kindness and compassion is just immeasurable. God would be pleased to know that such a person like you exists to comfort the people around her. I thank you for being such a good friend to me all these years and my life would surely be very much different without you.

I can't stress enough how much you have matured throughout these 3 years and the changes are very obvious. You are now a more responsible and resilient person because of the pressure and the stresses from school as well as from Bernard. Haha. I am so proud of what you have accomplished. I really hope you do well in Bible School and find your true calling in life, whatever it may be. Remember, always trust in the Lord. He will show you the way. I love you (:

Bernard
You are really a paradox. You can annoy the hell out of everyone around you, yet you are able to command our respect and attention in an instant. I think things have worked out well for you. I know poly was not your first choice but look at what it has done for you. You have gained friends, experiences and knowledge along the way. And now, you have gotten your wish, albiet 3 years later.

Thanks for all the support, motivation and encouragement you've shown to everyone in the course. Thanks for your guidance throughout these 3 years in poly. Thanks for bothering to put in time and effort into making things work when others would just not care. You are also a blessing to the people around you. And you should know that no matter what we say about you, we all are very thankful to have you around. God bless you and may your future be filled with joy, excitement and success.

1K03

It has finally come full circle. The first day of orientation seemed just moments ago. Sorry guys I can't blog about this right now. I'm a bit too emotional. Haha. Perhaps another time. Well, it was all good. Thanks for the memories guys. I will always remember and cherish them for the rest of my life. (:

Recently, I've been praying for happiness. God has always answered my prayers and I have no doubt in Him. But honestly, be careful what you pray for, it may really come true. It has for me. And although it is the right thing, it may not be the thing that makes you happy. Hence, I have started praying for happiness.

And guess what, I have found some semblance of happiness in an old friend. I won't say much but I didnt know I was still stuck here. I'm back to square one, the same place I was 3 years ago. I dont know la. I know I sound like a loser but so what? What's the point of being all big, manly and full of ego when you dont have happiness in life? But then again, I know that it's wrong and I shouldn't be thinking of that old friend. Sigh. (And Hazlyn if you're reading this, DONT YOU DARE SAY I TOLD YOU SO)

A wise man once told me something about happiness which I fully agree and believe in.

"There are many things in life than can make me happy, but I want to share all that with that someone. And that makes me even happier." - Teo Tai Hong

brucia la terra

2009-03-23T01:00:00.002+08:00

I just finished watching The Godfather part 3 and although it wasn't as good as the first movie, it was still very nice, kinda emo la. Especially the part above, when his son sang that song to him and it reminded him of his past. Wah damn sad la.

Well, you have to watch all 3 movies to get it but it is so worth it. I have never spent 9 hours watching such good movies before, so it is really really good. Damn manly show la. And if there are any kind souls out there, could you please help me download the above song. It's Brucia la Terra if you dont know. THANKS (:

And i have a feeling i'll be wearing a black tie instead of the light blue one. So mafia. We'll see tomorrow la.

Brucia la terra mia
E abbrucia lu me cori
Cchi siti d'acqua idda
E ju siti d'amuri

the godfather

2009-03-21T01:16:00.003+08:00

Since I've got nothing much to do these few days, I've decided to do something I have always wanted to do for a long time; watch The Godfather. I watched part 1(trailer above) yesterday and part 2 today. I think it's like the best 3 hour show ever made.

I am so in love with the Mafia and the Corleone family and all. Shit man, I wanna have a gangster family. I realise I like these kinda shows where there is a head and everyone must like respect him and all, like American Gangster also. It was a really really good show.

Anyway, I'll be watching The Godfather 3 tomorrow. And I wanna watch The Goodfellas too. I love old movies man. And I think Robert Diniro and Al Pacino looked damn hot when they were younger. Like way hot. I hope there's a fashion revolution and everyone starts wearing suits and combing back their hair with lotsa brylcreem or hair oil. HAHA! Damn steam.

A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.
I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

be mine

2009-03-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

I was watching Jimmy Kimmel the other day and this new Swedish singer was performing this song. Initially I thought it was boring but I was kinda drawn in to it. So there are other things that come from Sweden other than Ikea. Haha.

YOU NEVER WERE, AND YOU NEVER WILL BE MINE.
sadly.

my happiness

2009-03-16T01:07:00.002+08:00

I see your shadow on the street now
I hear you push through the rusty gate
Click of your heels on the concrete
Waiting for a knock coming way too late
It seems an age since I've seen you
Countdown as the weeks trickle into days

So you come in and put your bags down
I know there's something in the air
How can I do this to you right now
you're over there when I need you here

My happiness is slowly creeping back
Now you're at home
If it ever starts sinking in
It must be when you pack up and go

It seems an age since I've seen you
Countdown as the weeks trickle into days
I hope that time hasn't changed you
All I really want is for you to stay

So you come in and put your bags down
I know there's something in the air
How can I do this to you right now
you're over there when I need you here

My happiness is slowly creeping back
Now you're at home
If it ever starts sinking in
It must be when you pack up and go

I know I know I know what is inside

You're over there when I need you here

My happiness is slowly creeping back
Now you're at home
If it ever starts sinking in
It must be when you pack up and go

This was like one of the few songs I love so much that I actually bothered to learn how to play it on the guitar. Such a paradox of a song, yet sucha pretty song. (:

If you want it, just ask me and I'll send it to you.

(:

2009-03-12T00:05:00.002+08:00

Haha.

Sian.

How to say leh?

Sian.

Steam.

Haha.

Lireal.

Very full la!

Steam.

Haha.

Sian go heaven liao.

((:

What you want?!

Sian.

(:

Damn steam.

K BYE.

you're the right kinda wrong

2009-03-10T01:55:00.004+08:00

Haha, I know you never read this blog unless I tell you to so I think I'm quite safe here.

I really really thought I finally got over you after all these years, but I'm not so sure now. You make me feel comfortable when I talk to you and I feel happy. Someone shoot me now, please. I think I'm damn loser now. Haha.

In the midst of all my sadness and depression, it's weird how I'm able to draw happiness and calmness from the mere act of talking to you.

Fuck la, no one has made me feel this way; ever. Here's to never ever being able to have you. ((:

I know all about,
Yea about your reputation
And now it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm where you are
You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight it any more

I should try to run but I just can't seem to
'Cause every time I run your the one I run to
Can't do without what you do to me,
I don't care if I'm in too deep yeah

Loving you,
That isn't really something I should do
I shouldn't wanna spend my time with you
Well I should try to be strong
But baby you're the right kind of wrong

p.s. I think he's a really good guy. I'm sincerely happy for him. He's damn nice la.

the best meal of my life

2009-03-06T02:31:00.008+08:00

Last saturday, a group of us had a really good meal, and personally, the best meal of my life. It was at this quaint Modern Australian restuarant called The Moomba. It's located just behind the MacDonalds at Boat Quay, at the corner of Circular Road, right next to the TCC.

I shan't say much just that the food was really orgasmic and I've never tasted such clean flavours which complemented each other so perfectly well. And the wines that accompanied the dishes were just marvellous. We had a tasting menu of 6 dishes which featured the less popular cuts of meat. I think it's important that such cuts of meat be used more often becuase it's less expensive and also has more flavour if cooked right. I've always been a fan but I've never experienced it in this manner. Don't ask me the price of the meal and don't go back asking for the same menu because it was specially arranged for us by an old friend I like to call "GOD"/"Dr. G". So they most probably wont have the exact same dishes in the original menu. (:

Prawn Salad
grilled prawns on a pomelo and green mango salad, with oven dried kalamanta olives, vine-ripen tomatoes in a chilli-kumquat vinaigrette

Braised Pork Cheek
braised all natural pork cheek on savoy cabbage, carrot, red-skin potatoes, daikon and leek in a tuna broth

Foie Gras
seared foie gras on a wild mushroom risotto with white truffle oil

Braised Wagyu Brisket
red wine braised wagyu brisket on corn polenta with roasted eggplant and capsicum

Lamb Shank
braised boneless lamb shank infused with balsamico, on a white coco and flageolets bean stew with pearl onions, haricot vert and fennel shavings

Warm Chocolate Pudding
with chocolate sauce and tiramisu ice cream

All I can say is, the Foie Gras on the mushroom risotto was just ultimate heaven. It just opened my tastebuds up and I experienced something out of this world. The wine was good too. They were both Voyager Estate wines. The white was a Sauvignon Blanc/Semillion 2007, extremely light and fruity which was a great accompanimnet to the starters. The red was also a perfect Cabernet/Merlot 2006. It was not very tannic which I appreciate greatly and it had a really clean taste.

God/ Dr. G has also inspired me to be a wine drinker. It really works so well with food and it's also good for you. I have since subsituted my bottle of whisky with some wine which I think is doing wonders for me. Haha. Well let's just see in the long run k? Poor liver can't take much more. Haha.

And to you, thanks for making me happy and cheery and smiley everytime we talk. You just make me smile and you manage to give me just that little ounce of happiness to get over a long, sad day.

And to YOU, thanks for calling me. We should really do that more often, and talk as well. HAHA. (:

the last day

2009-03-01T16:08:00.010+08:00

I never expected this day to come so quickly. They say time flies when you're having fun and that was so true for my poly life. I was always the quiet, insecure, guai, loser kid in secondary school and I never minded not having friends. I thought that all I had to do was study hard, complete my assignments on time and not let any teacher take much notice of me. I thought friends were just a by product of education and that it didn't matter whether I had them or not.

Poly changed me. It made me become much more outspoken, especially with the people I hung out with. My friends made me feel like I was somewhat significant in life and that it was okay to have fun and enjoy yourself. They were the ones that taught me the true meaning of friendship and being there for someone in need. I felt belonged and accepted for once. They looked past my inadequacies and flaws and took me for who I am. For that, I thank you all.

I will never ever forget the times that we shared, be it the rushing of projects to the last minute studying even to the celebrations we often had. There may be people who leave an impression in your lives, but you guys left an impact on mine. I also have God to thank for allowing me to meet people who make me laugh and cry, for putting me in the right situations at the right time, for giving me the problems and obstacles in life so that I can be stronger and better by overcoming them. I am very very grateful.

Now, for the last photos we will ever take as students in TP.

We took the last paper of the entire exam week. Ariel acting all emo in the sports hall after the exams.

our EMO-MENT. haha.

Me, Des, Linus, Shawne, Mell, Ari, Ruhan, Lena, TH

Think Your Future Is Only A Dream? Actually, Yes I do. Haha.

I was forced to do this. Anyway, it has NO significance whatsoever okay.

We went to this Jap food court at the new Paradiz Centre. Damn nice la. So much food and it's all cheap.

Yakiniku rice which I couldn't finish and some Jap Ice Tea which lacks sugar.

We went to Linus' place after that for some Wii action. That's TH getting owned by me in Wii Boxing. HAHAHAHA. Actually, TH got owned by everyone in every game. It was bloody hilarious.

Then we chilled and talked till about 3.30a.m. and that's when we finally resigned to the fact that our bodies were worn out and that the beginning of boredom and uselessness was to begin. Now that we don't have to go to school anymore, life has seemed to have lost its meaning. I try desperately to think of things to do during the week so I can look forward to something and not just repeat the same routine of doing nothing for the next few months till I get my enlistment letter. Even then, I'd have to wait another 100 days before I enter the army. Sigh.

Well, I hope to at least get my boat licence and go wake-boarding during this period of time. Sian.

The boys and girls in the clique,
The awlful names that they stick,
You're never gonna fit in much kid.
But if you're troubled and hurt,
What you got under your shirt,
We'll make them pay for the things that they did.

100 things because i'm bored to tears.

2009-02-17T00:09:00.002+08:00

001. Real name → Warren Elliot Wee Tian Xiang
002. Nickname(s) → Gay?
003. Status → Single and ready to mingle.
004. Zodiac sign → Scorpio. I know, emo kid.
005. Male or female → MALE.
006. Elementary → Temasek Primary
007. Middle School → Hai Sing Catholic
008. High School → Temasek Poly
010. Hair color → Blackish
011. Long or short → Very short
012. Loud or Quiet → Depends who I'm with.
013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
014. Phone or Camera → My phone has a camera.
015. Health freak → Used to be.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → I dont think so.
018. Eat or Drink → Drink
019. Piercings → Left ear.
020. Tattoos → Not yet
021. Water or Fire → Water
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → Love of my life
023. First fear → Being insecure
024. First best friend → Kenneth Ang Sheng Wei
025. First award → Avid reader award in prinamry 2
026. First crush → Michelle Chia Mei Si. Haha.
028. First big vacation → Primary 5. New Zealand for 3 weeks.
030. First big birthday → Still waiting.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → Air
050. Drinking → Water
052. I'm about to → finish the rest of the questions
053. Listening to→ California Dreaming by The Beach Boys
054. Plans for today → Today as in later on, study.
055. Waiting for → the future. I've been waiting for a long time. But that's another story.

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids?→ Definetely. Seth, Jayla, Brad. (:
059. Want to get married?→ Yes.
060. What careers do you have in mind?→ Country Club Manager? Lecturer? Ambassador.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes
070. Shorter or taller? - Shorter
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Stomach
074. Sensitive or loud → Loud
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant -Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Not lost, just broken.
081. Ran away from home → No
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → Not yet
083. Killed something→ Tons of insects and little animals.
084. Been heartbroken → Sadly, yes.
085. Been arrested → No
087. Cried when someone died → Like a bloody baby. And we weren't even related.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → Yes
090. Miracles → Yes
092. Heaven → Yes
093. Santa Claus → Yes
094. Sex on the first date → Depends
095. Kiss on the first date → Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → I honestly dont know.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → I'm very grateful, happy, i dont know
099. Do you believe in God → Yes I do.
100. Will you post this as 100 truths and tag 10 people → No.

The only reason I did this dumb thing is because I am bored to tears. I cant sleep cause i woke up at 3pm and I will only start studying tomorrow. And i have no more grey's or gossip girl to watch. Someone please entertain me now before I die of boredom!

post valentine's

2009-02-15T16:09:00.002+08:00

Valentine's Day. Haha, where should i start?

Okay let's go back to 11 Feb, Wednesday. I met up with Tai Hong and Ariel by Clarke Quay to cheer Ariel up because her cute dog, Baby, had died just a day before. And i've never seen Ariel so upset and distraught before so TH and I decided to do something to make her feel better. So i made healthy turkey sandwiches and brought apples and apple juice for all of us.

So we sat and talked and contemplated about life, as usual. And we came to this topic about like having a gf or something and i realised something very important. When you have a gf, you may look at other girls, you may sometimes wish you were single so you can "play the field", you may wanna have more freedom and not have someone always asking where you are and what time you'll be coming home, you may argue about everything under the sun. But all that doesn't matter. Cause when you come home after a long day, you have someone to talk to, someone to share your day with, your joys and sorrows. And you realise, it's all good. Because the worst feeling in the world is to be alone, without anyone there for you. I pray none of you experience that feeling, really i do.

This Valentine's Day was spent with the usual LRM people, Ariel, Lena, Mell, Linus, Tai Hong, Shawne, Desmond, Shane, Big Ben and Mike. We met at Ariel's cosy, chalet-like house and watched 3 romance movies all night. Haha. After the pizza, we just lounged around and started watching No Reservations which is a damn nice show la! Then it was Forgetting Sarah Marshall which was hilarious but a little too RA for Ariel. And finally, the tear jerker, Click. Click has a really really deep significance for me personally but I shan't say why. Just remember, family comes first. Oh and a random note, I think Ariel's dad looks way young. Like 30+? Haha.

Forever and ever babe.

p.s. Happy Total Defence Day

cheering squad: the story

2009-02-05T00:04:00.019+08:00

Once, there were 4 strangers from different walks of life who came together by fate. Although they had different family backgrounds and enjoyed doing different things, one thing was for sure, they loved bitching, gossiping and making jokes together. It all started one day during OB tutorial. The 4 of them were sitting at the back of the class in a row and were quite bored with class. Then one of their classmates started having a debate with another classmate and the tutor. They decided to spur on the debate by cheering: Quarrel! Quarrel! Quarrel! And that was how the Cheering Squad came to be.

They stuck together in school and even hung out after school. They were almost inseparable.

They even celebrated each other's birthdays.

They also went to house parties together.

They even did projects together.

But by some evil force, they were separated from one another. It was harder to get together for regualr outings and dinners but they knew in their hearts that one day, by some greater force, a higher power would bring them together once more. And it did.

THE REUNION

Karmun's Clam Chowder

Pretzels

PORK PLATTER! STEAM!

Mash and sauerkraut not sakurat

Typical.

After dinner "drinks"

MadMel

WaxyWarren

SexyShane

CummyChristabel a.k.a Karmun

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

p.s. Thanks for being there for me throughout these 3 years. Life would be so different without you guys. I love you all.

rehab

2009-01-29T00:34:00.002+08:00

I never thought I would be quoting THE MINAH (Rihanna) herself. But she kinda makes sense?

Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it

And all of a sudden
You went, left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

(:

there are parties; and there are after parties.

2009-01-27T00:32:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was possibly the best ever CNY Reunion of my 19, shit 20 years. God I'm getting old. Okay maybe the reunion was not that great but the after party was like exactly how i like to spend my time.

You see, my family gathered at some clubhouse of a Condo in Bukit Timah and because it was a clubhouse, you have to end any event by 10pm. Like how lame is that right? Parties are supposed to only start after 10. Anyway, I was kinda disappointed and started leavin the place when I saw Dennis and Karen who are kinda like my cousins but theyre as old as my parents and their kids are like my age. So we started talking:

KAREN: Eh we didnt talk at all tonight
ME: Ya I know! So sad right.
KAREN: Ya we should meet up soon.
ME: Ya we should get together for some cigar and drinks.
KAREN: Okay just tell us when youre free.
ME: Sure you supply the cigar and we'll supply the whiskey.

Then Dennis came along and started agreeing with his wife about the whole meeting up thing. And we all left, with me feeling quite contented. Then as we were driving home, my dad got this call from this number he had never seen before and was quite adamant on not picking it up. But his ring tone was so damn irritating that all of us forced him to answer the call. And guess what? Dennis called and asked us to join them for some cigar and drinks right then! I was like THANK YOU GOD!

And since he stays like a 3 minute drive away from us, we drove over and found that his parents as well as his gay brother, Larry was there. We all sat around and had a cigar, Charles too! Haha. I have never seen Charles smoke before but well, there's a first time for everything. Then Larry was like, since when did you guys start appreciating cigars? And before I could answer, Dennis was like, it runs in the Wee blood la. You know, I totally agree with that statement. I look at all the men on my Dad's side of the family, like uncles and all and I notice all of them drink like mad and smoke like mad too. Well, it's time to carry on the family tradition I guess.

Haha. So basically, I really had a good time smoking and drinking. So much so that when I woke up this morning, I was totally hung over and my legs felt like lead blocks. I think this is the most I have drunk in a single night. Like at the actual reunion, I finished half a bottle of Martini Rosso, a few cups of sparkling wine, a cup of rose and a white wine. Then at the after party, I had 2 different whiskeys, of which I had many shots. After my last shot of whiskey, I had to keep rocking my body to prevent myself from falling asleep. That's how bad it was. Anyway, the company was great, and Larry got so drunk that he kept touching Kevin and saying how handsome he was.

And one statement was damn funny la! Larry was like, What do you do when you're drunk? And Kevin was like, sleep lor. Then Larry was like, You dont fuck meh?

HAHA! And my parents were all there la. So funny right? Haha. I just loved my time there yesterday. I haven't felt so free and happy in a really long time. I mean, I've been feeling really sad and alone these past few weeks, especially after all that's happened. The nights have been really hard on me and I have been forcing myself to stay up late just so I can go to sleep easily. She has certainly moved on and so should I, although it's really easier said then done. But last night, last night kinda liberated me in a way.

Mummy, Karen and Larry. Cigars, scotch and food. Mmmmm..

It's time to be Warren Elliot. No more living in the past. No more looking back at what I had, at what I used to be. No one's gonna care about that and neither should I. It's a new year and a new day. The bitch is back.

If love is blind
If love's a drug
It always is
It always was
And love was surely made for fools like me

p.s. Gossip Girl is officially my favourite show for now. Even more than Grey's or Nip/Tuck.

stay hungry, stay foolish

2009-01-19T22:51:00.002+08:00

My favourite lecturer/God/Ms. Angeline Chin showed us this video during lecture today and I felt that it was so good in so many ways. It applies to everyone no matter how young or old you are and it gives you a different perspective of how to live your life, especially for us here in Singapore.

Steve Jobs is an inspiration to me not only because he came up with only the prettiest computer in the world but also how he managed to go against the main stream and dare to be different and stand out. It takes real courage to do that and not everyone has that kinda courage. In the end, it worked out well and good for him and look where he and Apple is today. Guys, I still want my MacBook Pro okay.

I cant believe how someone your age can act so stubborn. I'm the only one that ever supports you when all of them laugh and mock you. I back you up and try to motivate you but this is all you give me? And you dont like how I talked to you? Please la. Grow the fuck up. You are not a kid anymore. You have responsibilites and you have not been taking care of them since they were entrusted to you. You are so lucky to have her and all of us and everything. Please, I pray all the time for you to mature and act your age but you never do. When will you listen? I sincerely hope that it doesnt have to come down to having everything taken away from you and you realise you have nothing and no one. Please. 51 years on this earth. Please.

i seriously need another scotch and a cigar right now.

slow dancing in a burning room

2009-01-11T22:57:00.002+08:00

I've always loved that song. Although it's a really sad song about a relationship doomed from the start, there's a certain joy in the fact that you have to make the most out of what you have when you have it. Once it's gone, there's no getting it back. Listen to the lyrics la.

And I'm not directing this song at any one in particular, just wanted to share it with you guys like how Shu Yun shared it with me. Thanks (:

Anyway, DPD is gonna be over tomorrow, so is the spa test and the only hurdle after that is Facilities Project submission. Time has seemed to just fly by without waiting for anyone of us. Before we know it, we're gonna be sitting for our final exams and waiting to enlist for NS, for the guys, of course. Just treasure every moment you have now cause you will never get it back, no matter how you try.

Everything happens for a reason. That's my life motto. Never let any tragedy or setback make you feel dejected or hopeless. I believe that there is a God and He knows what's best for us. Every bad thing that has happened to me in the past has somehow made me who I am today and has given me certain opportunities that make me a better person.

Like failing my TP test. That was one of the biggest setbacks of my life. Since young, I've always done either well or just okay for most of my tests and exams. I've never actually encountered such a failure of that proportion before. Moreover, I come from a family of first time TP passers so in a way, I expected myself to pass. But for some stupid reason (driving too slow), I failed. I was really disappointed with myself and thought that I was the biggest loser in the world. I was quite affected by it for a few weeks and I kinda still am. But I've began to move on and look at the big picture. At that time, even though I was confident in my driving, I was kinda afraid to drive my mum's car on the road. I just had this fear that I wasn't ready, even though I have taken many lessons. I also thought maybe if I had passed and had started driving, I would have gotten into an accident.

Everything happens for a reason. Trust God in everything. No matter what religon you are, trust your God. If you can't trust Him, then I think there's no one else to trust.

Having said that, I dont mean you can just sit on your fat lazy ass and do nothing. God doesnt help people who dont help themselves. So do your best and leave it to God to do the rest.

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
How dare you say it's nothing to me
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw

I'll make the most of all the sadness
You'll be a bitch because you can
You try to hit me just hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand

We're goin down
And you can see it too
We're goin down
And you know that we're doomed
My dear
We're slow dancing in a burnin room

p.s. I'm really glad you're back in my life. You seriously have no idea.

nat geo & discovery channel

2008-12-15T00:15:00.005+08:00

I was at Vivo today having lunch and just walking around when I realised that there was a new NAT GEO shop where Desigual used to be. It seemed more like a museum/exhibition than a shop. There were huge artefacts and pictures all over and the atmosphere was just so great. It's such an educational place. Anyway, the clothes and bags there are like OMGOSH!

I have never seen such a huge collection of pretty bags. It's so hard to find nice bags and I finally found a place that sells them. There are so many kinds, from black canvas bags to leather explorer bags. Although the stuff there is a little pricey, with items ranging from $199-$300, it's still really worth it; and the quality is really good.

S0 knowing me, I saw this really really really pretty nice beige bag which is super huge. It's made of camel skin and leather and as usual, I couldnt help but keep carrying it. Anyway below are 2 pictures of it. Please discuss!

So pretty right?

It's huge right? Even after placing it next to me.

For the price of $249 it could be mine (:

There is only one problem la, I think it may be too big and bulky and I have nothing to put in it. Sigh. But on the plus side, the pictures are taken with my Viewty. I'm so proud of my phone. (:

And the funny thing is, when I was carrying it, I dont know why but I started singing the Discovery Channel Song. Then my brother was like, wrong channel la! Haha.

For those of you who dont know, this is the Discovery Channel Song.

Astronaut1: It never gets old huh?
Astronaut2: nope
Astronaut1: it kinda makes you wanna…
Astronaut2: break into song?
Astronaut1: yup

I love the mountains
I love the clear blue sky
I love the Bridges
I love when great whites fly

I love the whole world
And all its sights and sounds
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah

I love the oceans
I love real dirty things
I love to go fast
I love egyptian kings

I love the whole world
And all its craziness
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah

I love tornadoes
I love arachnids
I love hot magma
I love the giant squids

I love the whole world
It’s such a brilliant place
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah
Boom Dee Ahh Dah

Neil Sedaka vs. Renee Olstaed & Peter Cincotti

2008-12-08T23:16:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna post up 2 versions of the same song. The first is the original by Neil Sedaka and I really really like it. The second is a duet of the song by Renee Olstead & Peter Cincotti. A good friend of mine sent it to me a few years back and everytime I listen to it, it kinda reminds me of her. Haha. Weird. Anyway, I'll just post both up so you can compare for yourself. (:

Dont take your love away from me.
Dont you leave my heart in misery.
If you go then I'll be blue.
Cause breaking up is hard to do.

HUA HEE TIO HO

2008-11-19T23:23:00.003+08:00

It's quite sad that as a Hokkien, I cant speak my own dialect. It's a problem most Singaporean kids face but don't really care about. I was never good at my mother tongue, mostly cause my parents both learnt malay in school and my entire extended family speaks either malay or Bahasa Indonesia.

However, I have decided to start exposing myself more to my culture and thus, I have posted up this Hokkien song which Lena and I have been madly listening to for the past few days. It's actually a really meaningful song, telling you that no matter how rich you are, happiness is key. Cheesy I know, but it's true. So do have a listen, it's really good.

handwriting

2008-11-19T09:34:00.002+08:00

I'm usually quite skeptical about fortune tellers/horoscopes and people who try to predict your future/personality with just some general information about yourself. However, after trying the handwriting quiz on Karmun's blog, I kinda feel quite freaked out. It's more specific than anything I've done before and it's quite true, save a few predcitions here and there. I'll just post up my result below. Sentences highlighted in Green are the very true and accurate ones. Those in red are totally not true. The rest are just so-so.

Warren is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes.

Warren will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Warren an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical.

Warren is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

Warren is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Warren doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Warren will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Warren's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Warren slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Warren can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Warren's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Warren that he wasn't a great and beautiful person, and he believed them. Warren also has a fear that he might fail if he takes large risks. Therefore he resists setting his goals too high, risking failure. He doesn't have the internal confidence that frees him to take risks and chance failure. Warren is capable of accomplishing much more than he is presently achieving. All this relates to his self-esteem. Warren's self-concept is artificially low.

Warren will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Warren to plan too far into the future. He kind of takes things on a day to day basis. He may tell you his dreams but he is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud he speaks, look at his actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Warren is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Warren is very self-sufficient. He is trying not to need anyone. He is capable of making it on his own. He probably wants and enjoys people, but he doesn't "need" them. He can be a loner.

Warren is having a lack of physical energy at the time this handwriting was written. If someone has very short and straight down lower loops (like in the y or g), this indicates this person's physical drive (activity or sex) is compromised. Usually, this indicates the person simply isn't interested in getting too physical right now. This could be a temporary mood which often happens when the body is sick and is healing. Or, this could be a result of an emotional or physical issue that is effecting Warren 's energy level and interest in sex. Sex doesn't seem to be a priority at the moment.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Warren has left lots of white space on the right side of the paper. Warren fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Warren has an unhealthy relationship to the past and has a fear of moving forward. The right side of the page represents the future and Warren seems unwilling to face the fear of getting started living now and planning for the future. Warren seems to be clinging to past events and spending lots of time thinking about what happened. It would be best to leave the past behind and move on. Stop crowding that left margin.

http://handwritingwizard.com/analysis.php

So that's it. I think most of it is quite true. I think this test has described me better than I could have descirbed myself. Sad huh?

Ah well.

nineteen

2008-11-12T23:05:00.005+08:00

Today's my 19th birthday and it was a relatively quiet but meaningful celebration.

The day started off with another driving lesson. Like seriously I've taken over 30 lessons and my TP is like next week. I could have taken it 10 lessons ago but NO, the test date is so far away. Ah well, I really hope I pass if not I'll have to wait another 2 months at least. Sigh.

Left for One Fullerton to meet her cause she was like doing some e-learning thing. Then we headed down to Marina Sq to have lunch. I really wanted to try the new BK burger. You know the one which comes in 3 sizes, BOLD, BRAVE or BALLSY. Ranging from 2 patties to 4 respectively. And because I'm MANLY, I decided to have the BALLSY.

Man, was it BALLSY. It's not really bigger than Carl's Jr. burgers but it was really high and i had to really stretch my mouth real wide before i could bite it down. And thank God I didnt upsize the damn meal. I was so full after that but I felt so accomplished and well, BALLSY. But I also did feel my liver and heart going into shock but who cares right?

We walked around, tried to do some shopping but I didnt see anything I liked. I did however get some ideas on what to wear for my cousin's wedding at City Harvest Church. For those of you who go there, what do people usually wear to weddings there?

We walked to suntec aimlessly wandering around. Well cut things short, we went to Starbucks and she bought me a cake and sang me a birthday song which was rather peculiar to St. Marg's students, I shall end of the post with it later on. Yea so we talked and laughed and I was really happy to spend my birthday with her. I'm really grateful I've sucha great friend who has done so much for me, even though I may seem indifferent at times. I love you (:

She had other plans with the candles but the rain "rained on her parade". God I gotta stop trying so hard.

Yummy.

Thanks, Love (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WARREN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS ME
MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS ME
MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS ME
MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS ME

IT'S MY NINETEENTH BIRTHDAY
HAVE A FUN TIME AHEAD
WITH ALL THOSE I LOVE
AND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY

p.s. Happy Birthday Yun Qian too!
p.p.s. Happy Birthday Fiddy (13 Nov)

looking back

2008-11-09T22:26:00.016+08:00

As we move on in life, it is apt that we take the time to look back on what has made us who we are. Have i really mellowed? Am I now old and boring? Haha, hopefully not. Well, on with the show.

Sec 2e5'03 boys. Cute sia.

Me, Denny Boey, Seng Juong, Cher Yang, Xavier

The night we watched the play.

Arm wrestling buddy.

Focus on the toaster behind Seng Juong. Had lotsa fun with it in class.

Act la.

This is what I go to school for.

Leslie, Gabriel, Kai Siang, Me. "Graduation Dinner" Only like 10 people turned up?

When no one else cared, I was there. ;D

To think we barely talked in school.

The best days of my life. Thank You 4E5'05.

Emo sia. Haha.

School truly is the best time of a person's life. Well, generally. I'm not gonna make this a lengthy and boring post like my other ones but I need to say this.

Don't worry about the mistakes you've made in school, they make you grow as a person. Everything that seemed stupid in the past now seems to make sense. Everything happens for a reason, you may not see it now, but eventually, you'll get it. I know I do.

I thank God for giving me life and for all the things and people in my life, be it good or bad, helpful or otherwise. I should stop taking things for granted and stop being so emo for I have been blessed with the greatest gift anyone can offer. The gift of life. (:

p.s. Happy Birthday Mike! Cigar soon? (:

p.p.s. Happy 18 months love. Time really flies when you're having fun huh? Haha (: Thanks for being there for me whenever I needed you, especially when I needed you. Besties for life? HAHA!

new day

2008-10-20T22:16:00.003+08:00

Today, 20th October 2008, marks the new day of the final semester in Poly. It's seems like just yesterday that I stepped into Temasek Poly, a freshie, without any friends, alone and very much insecure. Well, believe it or not, I kinda still feel the same after 5 semesters. It's not that I dont have friends but sometimes, even when you're surrounded by people that make you laugh, you can still feel lonely. I really dont mean to sound emo here and I'm not feeling emo but it's just something I wanna say. I really treasure all my course mates and friends that I have made along the way and all of you are special in your own unique way. I thank you all for that very much. You have made school life not only bearable but memorable.

Today, I came into the LT early cause it was so damn humid outside and I wanted to cool down and so I sat at the corner all alone. When lecture started, the usual gang sat in the middle mainly because it's the only place that can accommodate all of them together. But as I sat and watched them laugh and crack jokes, I had a mix of emotions. I felt happy, obviously as they livened up the lecture hall and made everyone else laugh. But I also felt a sense of detcachment from them. Then I thought about those people in our course who are not really with the mainstream. Those who either by choice or by sheer bad luck, are always on the sidelines, missing out on the jokes and mostly alone. Alone to lectures, alone to tutorials, alone to breaks and alone to home. Sometimes you have to take a step back, and look from afar to realise how fortunate we are and how we should never exclude anyone or discriminate against anyone.

I may have said some really nasty, mean and superficial things from sec 3 to now about people around me. Some whom I really sincerely care about and some whom I barely even know. It was wrong of me to judge people in that way and I am really trying to change. It's not fair to judge someone by how they look or the way they dress even though that's how society does. I may sound hypocritical saying this because of my history of insulting people for no apparent reason but I mean it. Today is a new day. It was the first day of school for the last semester and it's also the day I try to be nicer. I know I'll still bitch about people and stuff but I'll really try to be more objective in my judgements. To all whom I've hurt with my remarks, I sincerely apologise.

Anyway, the first thing I noticed today was that everyone dressed so smartly. The girls were all in pretty dresses and cute outfits and the guys were all properly attired. Perhaps it's because it's the first day of school or maybe because it's the result of SIP. Whatever it is, I think it's a good sign. Everyone also seemed much happier and friendlier and people who in the past didnt even take a second look at one another are now talking like long time friends.

One such group is the bunch of STB interns. All of us didnt really know each other, before the SIP but I feel that we have become a group of friends that can count on one another. I'm really grateful that I joined STB and met such wonderful people. I feel so proud that we are always so "ON" like attendance would be mostly full for outings, dinners and even the chalet. I think we rock. Like totally. (:

Oh and Tai Hong just messaged me just now saying " You die alr. I go train my arm alr." Haha. Just now I was quite bored so TH and I had a little arm wrestling match. The last time we did that was in TAS. I must say, TH has really become a lot stronger since then and the size of his fore arm showed that. But it wasn't physical strength that allowed me to win. It was mental strength. We were mostly at a draw and I almost wanted to give up many times but something in my head told me to keep going. My arm was cramping by then but I chose not to give up. TH on the other hand offered to call it a draw halfway through. That showed he wanted to end it and had no will to win the match.

I'M NOT SAYING TH IS WEAK. I think he's a very determined, fit and eligible individual and I respect him a lot. I'm just saying that sometimes, mind is really stronger than body. No matter how difficult the situation, no matter how deep in shit you are, dont give up. Never give up. Push on because the only losers are those who give up trying. TH, I dont think you need to train your arm. You could have won me just now. Just dont give up so easily. Fight for what you want. You will get it. Be it a girl, be it getting into commandos, be it winning arm wrestling, fight for it and you'll get it.

That's it.

I'm a new soul,
I came to this strange world hoping I could learn
a bit about how to give and take.
But since i came here,
felt the joy and the fear;
Finding myself making every possible mistake.

Redang

2008-09-25T23:10:00.005+08:00

I know I said in my previous post that I would be putting up pictures for your viewing pleasure but due to some rather foreseen circumstances, actually, I have decided not to post any here.

Instead, you can click on this LINK and it will bring you to my facebook where I have posted up the pictures I took in Redang.

I know this is very sloppy and is not as nice because there is no proper narrative to accompany the pictures but I am just plain lazy and quite busy. So there you go, take it or, well, leave it.
(:

But I will say this,

throughout my 5 nights in Redang, one thing kept me from being homesick. I looked at it every night and I just felt so much better and even after all the sun burns on my back and face, I felt a sense of relief.

Thanks (:

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Timbre Music Fest 2008

2008-09-24T15:16:00.003+08:00

Hello world, I'm back from the beautiful island of Redang in Malaysia and all I wanna do now is just go back there. I promise to upload pictures soon, probably in the next post and I'll tell you all about the wonderful time I had over there.

But now, on to other things. Life seems so different now, after reutrning from a relaxing holiday. TIme seems to past by really quickly and it's like I have loads of things to do. Just 6 days away and I'm quite lost about the latest happenings pertaining to work, since I'm working now and during the entire F1 period. I was a total wreck when I checked my emails and I was seriously panicking cause nothing looked familiar and the more I read, the more confused I became. Anyway, I think I'm starting to balance things out so in a few days I should be cured of this "jet-lag".

The past few days were spent playing pool with Shane and I don't mean to sound proud or anything but I think not playing for a long time has made me improve my game. I somehow managed to play better and I actually win some of the games. Haha, ya quite pathetic I know but it's against Shane leh.

After pool yesterday, I met up with Pam and we went to the mobile SVC at Merlion Park to wait for Bev to end work. But before that, I was waiting at Raffles MRT station cause Pam was late and because I was lazy, I sat at the stairs and minded my own business. After aboout 10 minutes, this tanned, short haired, very military looking SMRT officer approached me and this short conversation followed,

HIM: Sir, are you okay?
ME: Ya, I'm fine.
HIM: You sure?
ME: Yes.
HIM: OK, because it's gonna be peak period soon and there will be a large crowd coming down here later.
ME: Ya, I know.
HIM: You sure you're alright? If you want you can rest inside the room.
ME: No, I'm fine. Thanks.

Then he took the escalator up and I never saw him again.

It's so weird la. Like I was sitting quietly in a corner on the stairs and I dont think I looked sickly or anything like that. Anyway, I'm really impressed by his care and concern and I kinda wanna right a good feedback about him but I dont know his name. But to that man, thanks for your concern, you're sucha dear. And the way he talked reminded me of my CLT (Officer) during my NCC days. He sounded so strict but at the same time I could feel his genuine concern towards me. So nice of him.

Ah, so Pam finally arrived and we walked to the Merlion Park SVC and talked to Kevin and Bev. Then, we proceeded inside Coffee Bean just opposite the counter and had a quick drink before chilling by the merlion. Just then, we did something really spontaneous, we decided to go on a river cruise. You see, during our 2 week STB training, we already went for the river cruise but I dont know why this time it seemed so attractive so we ran to the counter and got 2 tickets for the cruise. True enough, this time, the cruise felt so much better and more enjoyable and I have no regrets. And you know, I think being spontaneous and doing random things like suddenly deciding to go for a river cruise is the essence of life.

So after all that, Bev finally ended work and we walked to Timbre along Boat Quay and we were so lucky to get like the final seats and they were right in front. Damn lucky man. The company was good with Jay, Hitesh, the two girls and Bev's friend, JT. That stands for Jun Tat and not Justin Timberlake, okay JT? The band that night was 53A with Sara Wee on lead vocals. The guest singers were great too, especially Gillian Marie. And because I'm sucha good boy, I left by 11.15p.m. But the next Timbre outing, I'm not gonna be so gay guys, I promise.

Pictorial updates of Redang soon.

Bye.

the art of being nice

2008-09-10T21:55:00.004+08:00

I truly believe God works in the most random and yet the most heart-felt ways. These past few days have been rather rough on me physically as well as emotionally. I wont really go into detail as to why I've been feeling so down lately but I just wanna share something I'm sure we all already know by now but dont take seriously; being nice.

Like I said, I've been overwhelmed with lotsa thoughts and emotions these past few days but today, just a small act of kindness, wait I wouldnt say it was an act of kindness, I think it was just a passing remark, made me feel a whole lot better about myself and everything around me.

It was quite a hectic day today. I got scolded by a cleaner aunty in hokkien and I totally didnt know what she was saying but I just stared at her blankly. I didnt even do anything la, she just came into the counter and picked up the empty bin and started scolding me. I had half the mind to report her to CAAS and get her ass fired. In my heart, I was hoping she would get fired and then not have enough money to pay for her HDB rental and get kicked out and starve and eventually die a slow, painful and sad death all alone. Yes, that is how emotional I'm feeling so dont push me.

Then there was FST registration. Ah dont even get me started on that. Well, I cant complain actually cause it's part of my job so I wont.

Then after work I rushed down to STB HQ for a briefing for the F1 race and it turned out to be quite useless la. At least I managed to get some money changed and I'm so happy cause I found a place with RM2.38 against S$1. The best rate I heard of was RM2.375. Okay that doesnt sound like a whole lot of difference but if you know me, I get pissy over the slightest cent. Quite ironic since I dont mind spluring on expensive and mostly useless stuff.

Anyway, here's the main thing. I was waiting for 190 for quite some time at the Tangs bus stop when a familiar looking person alighted from 167 and walked towards me. This short conversation ensued.

Familiar face: Warren right?
Me: Er ya.
Familiar face: You know who I am?
Me: Er, ya, Rebecca right?
Familiar face: Ya.
Me: So where you going?
Familiar face: Taka.
Me: OK, see you.
Familiar face: Yup see you, and you look good.
Me: Er okay thanks. You too?

Notice how I start all my sentences with Er. Haha. I get very nervous, especially around girls. Also notice how I dont know how to react to that "compliment". Sigh, are we so caught up in this secular society that we have forgotten how it feels like to receive something so honest and from the heart? More than that, have we forgotten how to give back? I think I have.

But the thing is, just that sentence made my entire day. It may sound dumb to you but I really dont care. That's how easily contented I am. And I was thinking about it the entire time after that and if everyone just said one sincerely nice thing to another person, the entire world would be happy, yes?

To everyone reading this: Do or say something nice to someone today. Dont wait, dont hesitate, dont be reluctant, just do it. The smallest thing you say or do can really change a person's mood.

And that is what I wanna go on to talk about now.

I believe all humans are born with a heart and that means we are all born to be nice people. It's just that along the way, some of us go through troubled childhoods, broken homes and bad company and that makes us less nice and more cynical, untrusting and sometimes angry. I'm sure everyone has lost their temper at least once in their life be it over something small or over a big deal but surely, we have lost our temper before.

Well, that's not the scary part. It's okay to be angry, it's okay to lose our temper and it's okay to feel sad and emotional like how I'm feeling now. That just means the other party means something to you, maybe you love them or care for them greatly but at least they have some significance in your life, enough for you to be pissed.

What is really terrifying is when you are not nice to that person and also not angry at the person. When you just dont care, when you stop loving and you stop having an ounce of concern for the person, when you're indifferent. I pray none of you feel that way to anyone else because it honestly is a frightening feeling. I think I may be feeling that way or maybe bordering on indifference and I sure as hell am scared. It's not a nice feeling, honestly, especially when that person is so close to you. What they say is true, the ones you love the most are the ones that hurt you the most. Sigh Sigh Sigh.

Anyhow, throughout all this emotional struggle I have with myself, one person has been there to here my rants and my frustraions and shared my tears. She was there for me for the highest moments as well as my ultimate lows and she never gave up on me. I may not be the best friend she has but she certainly is the best friend I have right now. Thank you so much for accepting me for who I am, my flaws and my inadequacies. You're the bestest bestie a bestie could have and I love you for that and so much more!

Thanks, Hazlyn for being there for me (:

I really appreciate everything and I love you!

You said hello then you asked my name.
I didn't know if I should go all the way.
Inside I felt my life had really changed.
I knew that it would never be the same.
Iwas dying indside to hold you,
I couldn't believe what I felt for you.
Dying inside, I was dying inside.

DNC 2008

2008-08-29T23:15:00.010+08:00

Okay Ariel and all who have been bugging me to update again, I am updating now.

It's just that I've been rather busy the past 2 weeks with AIPA and all but now I have much more free time and I cant get to bed cause I kinda just woke up from a 12 hour slumber, I'll get to that later.

I must say that AIPA was a really good experience for me and I'm sure it was for all those who helped out for that event. It was really an eye opener to the political world out there and it has somehow sparked something inside me which makes me more interested in politics. Dont worry, I'm not gonna be another Berns but I think that it's quite important that we at least know our ministers or maybe those in our GRCs? No more himbo Warren, I'm on a mission to be more well-informed. Yay!

Anyway the reason I just woke up at like 8.30pm is cause I didnt sleep the whole of last night cause I was at a chalet with my secondary school friends whom I havent seen for a really really really really long time. Initially I wasnt planning to stay over cause I dont really like chalets but after some very very hard persuasion and gulit-tripping, I gave in and I think it was a good choice. I spent the night with Van, Meng, Lilian, Jack, Kenneth, Kai Siang and Nick whose Mum sponsored the chalet. Okay maybe she didnt sponsor it but she redeemed her NTUC points to get it free.

It was good catching up with them, playing bridge, bitching and not sleeping. I'm actually quite surprised how quickly time passed and before we knew it, it was 4.30am. All of us were like lying down but no one actually slept and we all left at 5.30am to have breakfast at Macs. After eating, we walked to Nick's place to get the car so that he could drive us back. So on the way, we passed Hai Sing and so many feelings overwhelmed us.

It was so nostalgic walking pass the school at like 7.20am when everyone had to report to school for morning assembly. I miss the hymn singing and bible sharing every morning and how we had to drag our tired asses to class after that. Sigh, I miss the simplicity and innocence of secondary school. Anyway, Nick sent us home and at 8.45am i fell asleep at got up like 12 hours later. It was a good rest but i had a weird dream that I had to fight this really big and fit guy and I was really scared but I dont know what happened next. Strange.

Anyway, on to the title of this post, DNC 2008. It's the Democartic National Convention and I happened to chance on Barack Obama's acceptance speech to head the Democartic Party on CNN and it was really a charismatic speech, much like himself. I was really inspired by his speech and as a strong supporter of the Democrats, I was greatly touched after hearing it. I now understand why so many people wanna go to the USA to start a life, to achieve their dreams, to achieve The American Dream.

I really really hope Obama becomes president. It's not that I dont like McCain, I think he's a really funny guy but I just dont agree with the ideology of Republicans and I was devastated Al Gore lost to George W. Bush in 2001. I remember I was in New Zealand at that time and I found out that Geoge Bush had become president, I was just so damn sad. Well I think come Nov 4, Obama will lead the Democrats to a huge victory and hopefully change will come to the United States of America.

If you wanna watch his acceptance speech, just click on the picture above. You wont regret it.

USA! USA! USA!

okay i'm crazy.

Oh and I'm happy cause Meng Ye burnt for me Jason Mraz's and Duffy's CD and now Lena is sending me all the songs on the Old Skool CD from Class 95! Yay more songs!

I won't hesitate no more, no more it cannot wait I'm sure.

Theres no need to complicate,

Our time is short.

It cannot wait, I'm yours

officially over

2008-08-13T00:36:00.002+08:00

The long dreadful process called internship officially ended yesterday after I hesitatantly slotted my portfolio into Mr. Low's box. Now i hope that he doesnt see me in Raffles City and tell me he didnt receive it which was what happened to my beautiful Attractions Management Report.

On to other things, I'm like working now, as usual, at T2 arrival with Lorraine and i'll be going home soon. YAY! But you know, there's somehthing I dont really like about closing shifts. It's like when I get home, everyone is asleep and almost all the lights are off. It makes me feel so lonely and sad and sometimes I feel like crying. Haha so emo right. But that's true and I dont see my family members which makes the feeling even worse!

And I have to wake up early tomorrow morning and be at Parliment house by 10.30a.m. which means I have to wake up at 8.30a.m. which means that I have only about 5.5 hours of sleep which means that I may get pimples due to lack of sleep.

SHIT! Berns just told me that tomorrow cant wear jeans. The guy said smart casual which means shirt and jeans right? But apparently it's like shirt and pants! Like a suit just without the jacket and tie. Oh my goodness la. It's gonna be so damn warm and so formal. I bet the SP people would be in jeans again and they would think we're mad. Sian.

At least something good happened to me today. Suddenly, out of the blue, someone which I havent talked to for a really long time initiated a conversation with me. Although it was quite meaningless, it was good to talk to that person. Okay I dont know how to continue but just know that whatever I am saying now is really really really way way way understated. So you must kinda take what I'm saying and mulitply it by 1000000 to know how happy I am. Haha. YAY.

So she said what's the problem baby?
What's the problem, I don't know?
Well maybe I'm in love.
Think about it every time I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it.

bye bye internship

2008-08-01T01:38:00.004+08:00

Half an hour before I'm home free. No more internship pay. No more fixed days. Sadly, no more taxi vouchers too. Ah well, still can claim la. Haha. And I wont be working on the 1st of August, as in I'm doing closing that's why the date is 1st August but I wont actually be working in the day, get it? Aiya I dont care if you dont.

Arrival 2. Hmmm..dont really like this counter la. I mean it's busy and all but at night it gets really boring and there's only 1 laptop and 2 staff so the other 1 better have something to do. Luckily I was practicing my Final Theory for the 2nd time just now. I'm so scared I'll fail! It'll be absoloutely loser-ish and a waste of time and money if I do. Sigh, from the looks of things, I dont think I can get my licence by my 19th birthday. Nvm, that just means mummy/kevin will have to drive me around. HAHA.

Okay basically I'm just blogging to pass the time and I bet every single intern is waiting to blog about this moment, this moment of impending freedom and liberty. I must say this has a been a great ride but I wont do it again, as in for the pay I was getting.

On to other random things, I just read Damien's* past few e-journals and theyre all damn sad la. As in I know he is emo and all but his journals really seem to make his internship company sound like crap. Like there's totally no sense of organization and they didnt seem to put much thought into their internship programme. Or maybe he's just suay? And he also sent me this super fun but bo liao game that you should only play if youre extremely bored or stressed or need to have a laugh. Ask me/Damien* for it if you want. It's a small file and it's incredibly simple to play but it's really loads of fun!

Ah I'm gonna start closing this counter soon.

BYE BYE PEOPLE.
BYE BYE INTERNSHIP.
I'LL MISS YOU.
OR NOT.
(:

*names have been changed for confidentiality. but you know who he is.

speed of sound

2008-07-26T22:42:00.004+08:00

The only reason the above is my title is because i have no idea what to put there since this post has no central theme and also because that is the song playing on Perfect 10 right now. Sigh, this job is really killing my intellect, or maybe i didnt have any to begin with. Hmmm..

But you know, things happen for a reason and maybe its apt that speed of sound is the title since I kinda wanna talk about how quickly my internship has passed me by. I hate to sound cheesy or cliche but 20 weeks of internship has really gone by damn quickly, however, you wont hear me say how I'll miss it or how sad I am to leave because i definetely wont miss getting paid $500 a month for 20 days of work. The only thing i might miss is the taxi e-vouchers which allow me to take taxis without paying any cash upfront, but besides that, i think i can do with more free time and a $9/hr pay. (:

Back to my point on how things have gone so fast; I honestly feel that these few months have just zoomed (what an ugly word) by but i have learnt a whole damn lot. I guess its kinda like give and take? My brain somewhat gave away everything I used to know abt writing proper reports/essays/colourful sentences and in return, it kinda knows how to do FST and FCS registration, oh not to mention loads of airport and tourist info. Wow, how helpful, considering I wont be doing this as a career. Sigh, i need to get back into school mode soon or else 3.3 is gonna be a huge nightmare.

Now i kinda get what people mean when they say they want a meaningful and fulfilling job. I always thought sitting around on your arse and getting paid for doing nothing is damn cool until now. Not that I wanna slog all my life, I just want to do something which gives me a sense of pride and a huge paycheck. That kinda explains why I wanna be a lecturer.

Yes for those of you who dont know yet, sitting around doing nothing has given me a lot of time to think and reflect on life and although an old faded mirror can reflect better than me, I have kinda decided to be a lecturer in poly. That is after I get my degree/masters/phD/conquer the world (okay omit the last point), work for about 10-15 years and gain some sort of experience. I think it's quite a cool job no? You dont have to work on weekends and public hols and you even get school holidays! Haha and in poly, you dont really get parents calling you up and bugging you and there are no Parent-Teacher Conferences to go to. What I'm trying to say is, it's quite a slack job but it's also quite fulfilling cause you get to nuture young minds and in turn, you will stay young and heart and mind because you are constantly around young people. But that leads me to wonder, why are there still old, stubborn, boring lecturers around? Oh plus, the pay is not bad and I'm sure you get medical and if I'm lucky, DENTAL! WOOHOO! (:

Yes, I'm a very simple guy. Oh ya, and I wanna teach subjects like BESE where I dont have to study and have years of knowledge before I seem competent, unlike some technical subject like Accounting. Maybe I'll teach Leisure and Recreation or Intro to H&T or something. We'll see what field I specialize in and what subjects are offered for me to teach. I dont wanna teach at RP/SP/NYP either. Only NP or TP. Yup. The rest are just un-cool la. Sorry all my friends studying at those schools. Haha. You get the feel that I'm just talking to myself right now dont you? Cause that's what I'm feeling right about.....now.

Thank God there's MSN, Blogs, Friendster and Perfect 10 to keep me company. Thank God for the internet and internet radio.

Oh and sorry for not blogging in a rather long time. Had no mood and nothing really significant has happened so no point right? I hope I blog more regularly if not it means that my life is as stagnant as a pot holder breeding dengue mosquitoes. Okay I think I should stop using corny metaphors from now on. Or is it similies? See, my intellect is really going! AH!

How long am I gonna stand,
With my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
Before I see things the right way up.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.

Sian, he lost.

2008-07-07T22:15:00.005+08:00

I totally forgot to watch the Wimbledon 2008 final live la! Anyway, I happened to be channel surfing today and I saw the last 45 minutes of what I can say is one of the best tennis matches I have ever seen. My heart was racing like mad especially during the last few sets, I think my maid thought i was crazy cause everytime Federer got a point I was like "YES!". Haha.

Anyway, even though Federer lost, I must say, he's still the better looking one at the end of the day, or in this case, night. Siao lor, play for nearly 5 hours. I think his sweater is super super nice and I wanna get one of those. Can someone please tell me where to get it?! Please!

Damn hot right? I was looking all over the net for a picture and this is the best I got so far. I still cant find a full body shot. But his sweater is like super nice la. Argh, I want!

For those of you who dont know what I'm talking about, read the article below from The Wall Street Journal.

Nadal Beats Federer In Wimbledon Final
Associated Press July 6, 2008 5:59 p.m.

WIMBLEDON, England -- Rafael Nadal ended Roger Federer's five-year reign at Wimbledon on Sunday, winning a riveting, five-set marathon to claim his first title at the All England Club and signal a changing of the guard in men's tennis.

Mr. Nadal held off a stirring comeback by Mr. Federer from two sets down to prevail 6-4, 6-4, 6-7 (5), 6-7 (8), 9-7. He became the first man to win the French Open and Wimbledon in the same year since Bjorn Borg in 1980.

Mr. Nadal, the first Spaniard to win Wimbledon since Manolo Santana in 1966, avenged his losses to Federer in the last two finals here and snapped the Swiss star's All England Club winning streak at 40 matches and overall grass-court run at 65.

The rain-delayed match ended in near darkness after 4 hours, 48 minutes of play -- the longest men's final in Wimbledon history -- when Mr. Federer slapped a forehand into the net on Mr. Nadal's fourth match point and second of the game.

Mr. Nadal fell onto his back in exhilaration at the baseline. With his shirt caked with turf, he congratulated Mr. Federer and climbed into the players' box to embrace his entourage. He had tears in his eyes as he grabbed a Spanish flag and walked across the television commentators' booth to the edge of the Royal Box to shake hands with Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia of Spain.

"It's impossible to explain what I felt in that moment," Mr. Nadal said after receiving the winner's trophy from the Duke of Kent. "Just very, very happy to win this title. For me, (it) is a dream to play in this tournament. But to win, I never imagined something like this."
Mr. Federer, who converted only one of 13 break points in the match, fell short in his bid to set two landmarks: He failed to surpass Bjorn Borg by winning a sixth consecutive title or equal Willie Renshaw's record of six in a row from 1881-86.

"I tried everything," Mr. Federer said. "Rafa is a deserving champion. He just played fantastic. It was the worst opponent on the best court."

Mr. Nadal won his fifth Grand Slam title, adding to his four consecutive French Open championships. Mr. Federer, meanwhile, remains two shy of Pete Sampras' record of 14 Grand Slam wins.

"He's still No. 1," Mr. Nadal said. "He's still the best. He's still five-time champion here and I only have one, so for me it is very, very important."

Watching it all from the front row of the Royal Box was the silver-haired Borg, who won 41 straight Wimbledon matches during his 1976-80 title runs.

As Messrs. Nadal and Federer battled through the fifth set in fading light, they were like two heavyweights going toe-to-toe in the late rounds of a title fight. The intensity and quality of the match recalled the 1980 final between Mr. Borg and John McEnroe, which the Swede won in the fifth set after losing an 18-16 tiebreaker.

Mr. McEnroe, a three-time Wimbledon champion and a television commentator at this tournament, called Sunday's final the "greatest match I've ever seen."

Mr. Nadal, who has won 24 straight matches, extended his career record against Mr. Federer to 11-6, but it was only his third win in six against him on a surface other than clay. Mr. Nadal had lost in the last two Wimbledon finals to Mr. Federer.

Sunday's epic victory was Mr. Nadal's second straight over Mr. Federer in a Grand Slam final -- and this time on the champion's favorite court and surface. Mr. Nadal crushed Mr. Federer in last month's French Open final, losing only four games.

Mr. Federer, playing in his 16th Grand Slam final, had reached this title match without dropping a set but ran into a player who muscled him around the court for the first two sets with his punishing topspin forehand and refused to buckle in the face of an amazing comeback.
Mr. Federer, who saved two match points in the fourth set tiebreaker, came oh-so-close to becoming the first player to overcome a two-set deficit in a Wimbledon men's final since 1927, when Henri Cochet beat Jean Borotra.

Mr. Federer also nearly became the first man in 60 years to win the title after saving a match point in the final -- Bob Falkenburg beat John Bromwich in 1948 after saving three match points at 3-5 in the fifth set.

Copyright © 2008 Associated Press

warrened

2008-06-29T00:25:00.003+08:00

Contain your laughter guys, I warrened myself again last wednesday. This time i was cutting some onions and i somehow cut my left index finger. It's quite disgusting actually, like a part of my nail and a flap of skin from my finger was kinda dangling on end. Haha. It hurt initially but after that it just looked gross. The doctor put this tissue glue thing to seal it up and I just removed the bandage and it looks really weird. Typing is a bitch, hence the poor sentence construction and lazy vocab. To add salt to the wound (my god how corny), I have developed a fever, sore throat and blocked nose after the getting cut. Must be some infection or something like that I guess. Argh. Sucks to be sick, really. And to make things worse, I cant taste my 2 free subway cookies I have to last me till 215 am! SUPER SAD LA!

Well nothing really interesting to blog about so I'll just abruptly end the post here. Anything after this doesnt really concern you guys so dont bother. (:

I dont know why I've been talking to you the way I have recently. Maybe it really is my fault, my selfishness. I dont like to blame others so I wont blame you for it. I just hope this phase passes otherwise both of us wont be feeling very happy and that may lead to some unpleasent stuff happening. If you're looking for an apology, here it is, I'm sorry. But i dont think that's it. Maybe we need a break from each other indefinetely. I still love you.

Congratulations. You bothered to highlight, few people do. Anyway, i dont think youre gonna read it but i just need to write it down. I cant lie and be in denial anymore. I still think about you a lot and I really miss you, mostly as a friend, cause that's the only thing we've been. I may say i hate you and stuff but i really dont. I just miss talking to you and you constantly being online doesnt help either. Somehow you're always online whenever I am and I just cant help but stare at your nick. You have no idea how much self restraint I exercise everytime I'm online. It's so tempting to just talk to you but I know you dont talk like you used to and that things might get complicated. You dont know how big an impact you have on me and I dont know why the hell that is. If you're reading this, and if you want to, please talk to me the next time you see me online. I dont have the balls to. Please?

Fluff your garfield, wont you?

project day

2008-06-21T00:07:00.005+08:00

Probably another perk about working with STB is that we are given one day off purely for doing the project. This week was a bonus cause we were given an additional day to do the project and it was a combined discussion and all 10 of us were finally reunited! Let me put that into perspective for you, 2 off days and 2 project days = 3 proper working days this week. How can that not put a smile on your pretty faces?

Anyway, it was so good meeting the 9 of them again and being in the same room together. I never knew I would miss them the slightest bit, I mean I barely knew some of them before this but I'm becoming attached to those people. Good thing right?

So we met up and had a short discussion with Serene and Michelle (the SMU intern) and proceeded to have our lunch after that. But before lunch, we went to the lobby and decided to thaw at the quadrangle cause the building is so damn freezing cold. I think government agencies got air-con discount. Anyway Pam brought a camera and we all took a group photo, minus Pam of course. Haha, how ironic.

I like my biceps here, must be some lighting nonsense. Btw, the pond behind us looks like it has never been maintained since Singapore gained independence.

So we headed to Tanglin Mall to have some rubbish lunch and back to office to do work. Because Serene was so nice, she booked us a room that we had all to ourselves till evening and 10 interns in an empty room equals freedom. But I must say, we were rather productive, eh?

When we just got back, everyone's still so restless and nothing's being done. Must be the crappy food we had. Thank God for the super super super good coffee outside the room. The foam is so thick, even Mr. Goh would be happy.

They look so busy, especially Hafidah. Actually, their group always seems busy and doing work, whereas ours is like so slack. But it's not true okay? Just looks that way because we dont use so much paper. Haha.

I think it was a pretty good idea to combine both groups cause it allowed for easier communication and interaction between us which really minimizes any misuderstandings and we kidna get each other better and the project seems clearer this way. I propose combined project days once a week!

On to other things,

Bestie is overseas for 3 days. Ah well, come back soon and safe k! And come online to send me that SATC song! I want!! Take care yea, I'll be missing you. Hilton all meansss...

Working with HuiQi at transit 2 opening was so fun. Time passed like super fast. I wanna work with interns please!

I feel depressed. I feel especially fat and white. Haha! As in I need to go back to the gym and I need to go tanning. I'm turning into some cheena coloured dude. Oh wait, I think I'm already there. Shit!

And my heart had a problem, in the early hours,

So it stopped it dead for a beat or two.

But i cut some cord, and i shouldn't have done that,

And it won't forgive me after all these years.

So i sent her to a place in the middle of nowhere

With a big black horse and a cherry tree.

Now it won't come back , cause it's oh so happy

And now i've got a hole for the world to see.

one year (six months)

2008-06-12T16:29:00.007+08:00

It's the last day of my rather long hiatus from work and I think I'm ready to go back and kick some FST ass! Anyway, these past 5 days of being off from work have been rather well spent I think and there was lots of happiness as well. Haha. Shopping makes me happy you know?

Monday was a special day as I spent time doing things I love with the person I love. All of you, dont be sad k? I love all of you as well. Just that I spent it with my very best friend and BCBG (: We met up in the afternoon at Vivo cause I was quite ready to spend some money after being sucha good boy and not shopping for like a few months. First stop, Zara. I got this red pullover that she said would look nice and after trying it on, she was surprisingly right. I never thought red would be a good pullover colour but what do I know right? And after spending $19.90 on it, we headed to Pull and Bear and searched for the dark blue pullover I've been wanting for very very very long.

Initially, I was quite upset cause I couldnt really find any pullovers in the entire shop but after calming myself down and being less gay so that I could function, I found the grey one and asked the sales guy for the blue one. And I felt overwhelmed with joy when I saw him walk out of the store with the blue one in his hands. I immediately put it on and the rest, as they say, is history. It was a little more costly at $59.90 but still, I'm happy, and happiness is all that matters.

We went to subway after that and after a quick bite and some tears, we headed off back to Vivo. On the way back, we passed Crocodile and she wanted me to get the yellow shirt with white collars and sleeves but it was $99.90 and I didnt intend to spend on things I didnt need. Well actually, I dont mind spending on things I dont need, it's just that I dont see the value in spending that amount on a shirt like that. I'm gonna do one better though, I'm gonna tailor make a shirt which looks exactly like that and I bet it'll cost me like half that amount. YAY! Warren is clever!

NUM was next and I saw that white sling bag I've been wanting for like 2 years but never got the bollocks to buy it, I dunno why. After little consideration and much assurance, I finally got the bag I've always wanted for $129. I know there are a lot of NUM cynics out there but I really like it okay? Plus, I've never seen anyone carry that bag before. Hah! (:

After more aimless walking, we decided to catch SATC again at The Cathay. We already watched it together a few days ago but like I said, it's so good we went to watch it again. This time, I didnt fully enjoy myself due to a bursting bladder 45 mins into the show. There was like another 1hr 45 mins left to tahan. Still, I managed to appreciate the clothes, shoes and bags in the show.

Finally, we went down to Clarke Quay to have one of the most filling meals I've ever had in my life. We headed to Riverside Indonesian Restaurant, a place I've always wanted to go but never had the chance, and had a great big dinner. I was surprised to see that the place was packed with teenagers rather than families. I thought it was more a family dining kinda place. Ah well. The "complimentary" prawn crackers were like so damn nice together with the sambal belachan but they gave us like such a huge basket of crackers, enough to fill 4 people.

We ordered like a chicken curry dish and a platter for two and I think I was a dog at the end of the dinner. I could hardly finish up the food but she still wasnt full. But I must say the chicken curry is bloody bloody good and the sambal from the sambal stingray was way awesome. I'm definitely going back there like some time soon and the prices are quite wallet friendly.

After dinner, we walked to the river side and got random strangers to help us take polaroid pictures. It was so cool la, the camera's like so retro and the people were all so excited to see how the pictures turned out. Haz and I looked like a pair of idiots though, fanning the photos to quicken the process. We were shaking it like a polaroid picture I tell you. And Haz being the nice girl that she is, helped this pair of passersby take a shot and gave it to them.

my first proper polaroid. I hate how it makes you look fatter than you already are.

After some chilling and walking around, it was time to go home. It was a long ride to her place then mine but it was quite fun as well I guess. Haha.

Other significant events include a productive project day session, two driving lessons where I went to fourth gear and also over-took a van; a potentially TP failing move and getting accupuncture for the first time. Ah well. Blah.

Sew this up with threads of reason and regret,

So I will not forget. I will not forget

How this felt one year six months ago.

I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget.

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do.

Follow me there,

A beautiful somewhere;

A place that I can share with you.

p.s. thanks for the cookies and cupcakes, love and concern, hugs and kisses. ilu.

sex and the city

2008-06-07T09:58:00.004+08:00

Like OMG! Is that the best movie ever made or what?! Okay maybe not the best but it was really really really really really really really good. Like really. I didnt expect it to be that good. I mean I kinda thought it would be a let down and be draggy and all considering it's 2 and a half hours long but NOOOOOOOOO.

It's so good, I'm gonna catch it again on Monday and I have never watched the same movie twice in a cinema before. That's how good it is. Like i dont know what it is about the movie but you just feel so happy after the show and it's like so warm and fuzzy and all. Ah, now I sound gay, but what's wrong in being gay, right? (: Anyway, like I totally love the clothes on the set. The last time I saw a movie with such hot clothes was like Devil Wears Prada I think. The clothes, the shoes, the bags, the hair! AHH! I thought I had gone to fashion heaven. Of course the company is important too. Thanks love for suggesting the show and sorry I kinda criticised it before even watching. I tend to do that you know, judging before experiencing?

Perez Hilton is like so wrong about it la! It is really good la. And I hardly noticed the microphones during the movie, just like once or twice, that's all. And I'm gonna get the entire 6 seasons and make time to watch it man. Oh and that includes Gossip Girls as well. So who ever has GOSSIP GIRLS or SEX AND THE CITY, please lend the shows to me! Be kind, okay?

And yesterday, I met up with Van, Perlin, Lilian and Meng Ye at eHub at Downtown East. That area has changed so much la, from my early days in Hai Sing till now. It's like a totally different feeling altogether. Anyway we met up at NYNY and had dinner and stuff. It was nice catching up with them after a really long time and then we saw like part of ACG walk pass and we were like HELLO! Haha. Jack and Nick joined us and we decided to play some Taboo after that which was like super fun! The last time I played Taboo was with The Beach Gang outside Carl's Jr after a great game of Beach Rugby. Sigh. I miss those days.

Oh and I bumped into SY at Gelare too. I thought you'd quit la. And how come now your skin so nice ah? What you put sia? And your hair's nicer too. I think no more stress right? Haha. Or is it just Joey?

I cant wait for Monday la! Baby, it's just you and me and lots of shopping and love! (: I'm gonna get that Pull and Bear pullover and I hope Zara sale starts soon! And as usual, I NEED A BAG! Should I get a Crumpler? And I know the last time I typed something like this, no one bothered to respond but I'm gonna try again.

Should Warren buy a Crumpler? Discuss. (10m)

okay, now I feel like buying a Manhattan Portage Bag online. Like cheaper leh. Hmmm.

kaveri

2008-06-04T21:17:00.003+08:00

After much consideration, Pamela and I have decided to pronounce Kaveri the proper way. Most of the SVC people pronounce it as CAR-VERY whereas I think that it's supposed to be pronounced as CAVRI.

Anyway, I met Pam for dinner just now and we were contemplating between Subway and Kaveri and the winning statement was "but you cant find Kaveri outside". Hence, we eneded up having one of the most interesting meals in the airport. They have this staff meal for $5 and you get rice with 3 veg dishes and a drink. How cool right? We both had the same thing la, boring I know.

So we were served in the kinda food trays you get either in NS or prison but they were plastic and could put a lot more food. The rice seemed to be free cause they piled it on like nobody's business; Bryani with mixed veg in it but Pam says it's a little too hard for her liking. The spiced potatoes were OMGDREAMY and I kept wanting more and more and more! The curried mixed vegetables were SURPRISINGLY nice and had a more than expected hearty feel. The curried beans however, were a disappointment with too much spice in them. We were also given an extremely sour salad thingy and a side of what seemed like an extra crispy rolled up papadum.

All in all, I'm quite happy that we "went out of our comfort zone"(quoting Pam) and tried Kaveri. I'll surely have another meal there cause i think the food is good and it's quite worth it for $5 la. Okay now I sound like I'm trying to be a foodcriticwannabe, I'm not okay! I'm just telling you what I had for dinner. See I'm so bored! AHHH! I'm at T2 Transit now btw.

Yay, going off in about an hour. (:

We're goin down and you can see it too.
We're goin down and you know that we're doomed.
My dear, we're slow dancing in a burnin room.

E Journal - 3 (May)

2008-05-29T21:23:00.001+08:00

Since Mr. Low's getting an update of my life, i guess all of you should too. Here's the E-jounal for May.

Enjoy.

I would like to begin my journal this month by giving my personal views and insights on the questions you posed in the previous journal. As a Singaporean and staff of the airport, I am definitely proud of what a relatively small country has achieved over the last few decades, especially our airport.

The Changi International Airport has won Best Airport Awards for many years in a row and continues to go beyond the expectations of passengers, be it arriving, departing or even transiting ones. I personally feel that there are two components in the airport that contribute to this total successful experience; the hardware and the software. The hardware in this instance would be the structure, facilities and amenities that passengers and even locals get to enjoy. In the public area of the airport, there are many top restaurants and even shops that cater to the needs of everyone. Often overlooked facilities like dry cleaning services and Internet access stations have all been incorporated into the airport to meet the needs of business travelers.

The façade and avant-garde design of the new terminal, Terminal 3 has attracted more locals than visitors and can easily be mistaken for a shopping mall to the uninformed. I think having families, or even students come to the airport ever so often not to send off or receive a loved on, but to enjoy the facilities in the airport attests to its superior standards. This has left me thinking about the airports I have been to around the world, and how they compare to Changi Airport. All biasness aside, airports in developed countries like Australia and New Zealand don’t even come close to the standard of facilities and conveniences provided here.

Being fortunate enough to have the chance to work inside the transit area, I have been able to discover the reason for the acclaim Changi Airport has received. Free Internet access terminals, free movie theatres, free entertainment decks with the latest X-Box games, children’s play area, massage chairs; these are just a fraction of the free facilities passengers get to enjoy while in the transit area. While working at the Free Singapore Tour counter one day, an American lady told me how wonderful our airport is and how they think of everything for everyone. I was really proud at that moment and she even compared it to the Los Angeles Airport, LAX. She mentioned how crowded but bare it was, with a lack of facilities for transit passengers and here we are, giving free tours away to such visitors.

Then I think is it really the facilities, amenities and conveniences that make us such a wonderful airport? My answer to a large extent is sadly, yes. If not for all this hardware, I do not think that we will be so successful. Surely we cannot depend just on the software to make it to where we are today. You ask what some of the short comings of the airport are. I would say the software. Software refers to the people that are running the hardware, the retailers, the service staff, the security personnel and even the youth ambassadors. Working in the service industry, I roughly have an idea what good service and poor service is.

I think that our service standards in Singapore or more specifically, in the airport, are greatly over-rated. And I believe I may know the reason why. Asians or Singaporeans are just not born with service in their blood. From young, we are taught to be hardworking and honest and driven, but not to be friendly or service-oriented. That is why the shops or facilities here are well managed and maintained but the passengers may tend to feel a little uneasy. There just isn’t that warmth when you are walking inside the transit area. You think to yourself, “Wow, what a lovely place with so many things to do but I’m not having that great a time I’m supposed to have”. It’s something like being given everything you want, but no one to share it with; it’s quite an empty feeling really. It’s not that you don’t get greeted when you enter a shop or don’t get a proper reply; it’s just that it’s all so artificial. Service trainings can only do so much, but because it is not in our culture to be spontaneous and friendly to strangers, we fall behind in terms of overall standards.

Strip away the modern designs and wonderful architecture, our airport is just a place for planes to take off and land with mediocre service staff trying a little too hard. This may sound harsh, but it is so true.

On to work-related things, nothing much has changed besides all the interns being assigned to work at the airport for now, meaning no Orchard shifts. However, looking on the bright side, we will get to see each other more and we have also been given a project day each. This day is for us to come together and discuss about the project that has been given to us. In other words, we have only 4 days of proper work. Of course I think it is a good idea as we are able to meet and concentrate on our project instead of balancing between answering questions and doing research at the same time. It also allows us to meet on a specific date which is much more efficient.

Our project is basically about minimizing the amount of brochures on the racks by cutting down on less popular brochures as well as having a proper standardized system of ordering, storing and displaying brochures. We have just had our first meeting and we have decided to do a survey to understand which brochures are more useful and which are not used at all. This project is something that is really useful for the staff as there will be a system in place. However, the previous batches of interns have done something similar but it was not very successful. This may be due to the different needs of each visitor centre counter as well as the storage and display capabilities. There cannot be one standard for 6 very different counters but there should be a standard for each of the counters. This is the mistake we cannot make and hopefully the management is able to understand this when we present our proposal to them.

Other interesting happenings would be the office politics that is so apparent in the airport counters. A few interns together with me have experienced it at the same time but I would not want to elaborate on it as I do not think such people deserve any mention at all.

For now, I am concentrating on the project at hand and being patient with some rather unreasonable people.

the owls go

2008-05-18T22:30:00.003+08:00

I saw this whilst reading through XinZi's blog this afternoon and I thought it would be kinda interesting. Here it is.

My Life's Charter- According to my iTunes

RULES:

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song down.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

1.If someone says, "Is this OK?" You say? Mudian To Bach Ke (I didnt know I could speak punjab)

2.How would you describe yourself? Nothing's gonna stop us now (Sometimes i think of myself as 3 persons in one, like the Holy Trinity (: )

3.What do you like in a guy/girl? Say it right (Yea, I like girls who can speak well)

4.How do you feel today? Lovers and Friends (I'm missing them)

5.What is your life's purpose? Mr Perfect (HOW APT!)

6.What is your motto? Boulevard of broken songs (My life is paved with broken experiences)

7.What do your friends think of you? Fighter (Really meh? I'm quite peace loving I think)

8.What do you think of your parents? Against All Odds (That's funny. Yea I'll love them against all odds)

9.What do you think about very often? Bailamous (I dont even know what that means in English)

10.What is 2 + 2? Sunday Morning (Told you i failed math)

11.What do you think of your best friend? Summer Wind (That's true)

12.What do you think of the person you like? Paint My Love (In other words, she's a picture of a thousand sunsets)

13.What is your life story? What a Wonderful World (And so is my life!)

14.What do you want to be when you grow up? Work it (I guess i'm gonna be a worker all my life)

15.What do you think of when you see the person you like? Even If (Yup, there would still be you and me)

16.What will you dance to at your wedding? Believe Me (But i dont really fancy Fort Minor)

17.What will they play at your funeral? Angel of Music (YAY, play POTO songs when I die please)

18.What is your hobby/interest? Dream (True true, I love to dream but sadly they never really materialize)

19.What is your biggest fear? Poor Fool, He makes me laugh (That's right, Im afriad of being mocked)

20.What is your biggest secret? Moi Lolita (I SWEAR IT'S NOT THAT SCANDALOUS)

21.What do you think of your friends? Staple it together (Hang in there guys!)

22.What will you post this as? The Owls Go (Cute song, alright then)

tragedy

2008-05-18T12:45:00.003+08:00

As usual, I'm blogging while at work cause I've run out of things to do to pass my time. T3 is like a ghost town in the morning, or should I say, most of the time. Anyway, I was reading through every single person's blog on my list just now and I realised how interesting their lives are even though they are going through internship as well.

I guess I'm just making excuses for myself, as I always do. I think at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you are having internship or not, you still have time to do normal cool things; now I just sound pathetic. Haha. It's all down to time management and I think they should have a diploma in it. Diploma in Time Management, sounds good to me. The last time I actually managed my time properly was in sec 4, studying for Os, practicing for drill competitions, NCC trainings, tuitions, gyming, swimming, running and I still had time for lotsa TV watching and time with my family and friends. It's funny how when you're the busiest, you have the most free time and when you're the most free, you're somehow always busy; agreed? Well, I guess the underlying factor behind great time management is discipline and that is why I think NS is gonna be great. (:

My goodness, I cant believe I've digressed from wanting to rant about my lack of social life to the army. Everyone seems to have watched a cool movie lately, like Iron Man or Made of Honour or What Happens in Vegas. I wanna catch a show. I think i'll end up watching Iron Man on DVD some months later but I seriously wanna catch Made of Honour. Any takers?

I need to hang with cool people and go to cool places and do cool things. I think hanging around with boring, politicking, grumpy, miserable middle-aged folk on a daily basis has done bad bad things to me. TSK TSK TSK. So calling all cool, young, hip, ladies and gents, give me a ring and invite me out sometime soon before I age before my years and become a hater.

I think I'm a boring person.
- Please comment on the above statement and justify. (10m)

I'm serious, please comment. Thanks!

When you lose control and you got no soul; It's tragedy.
When the morning cries and you don't know why.
It's hard to bear.
With no-one beside you you're goin' nowhere.

Be my baby

2008-05-12T20:28:00.005+08:00

I feel so detached from the world. Haha. I mean i think my internship is better compared to a lot of the other students but I feel like there's not much to life besides working. I'm blogging now while at work (Transit 2 SVC) btw, so yea.

See, even my blogging skills have gone down the drain. By the way, my computer at home is like screwed so I can only use MSN/Friendster/Blogger at work; ironic huh? I need a new computer la! My brother is supposedly gonna give his to me and he'll buy a laptop. Ah well, see how la. Oh and I'm saving for a Viewty! I think it's sucha pretty phone. I dont really care for the 5 megapixel camera though, i wont know how to use it and it kinda sticks out at the back like a sore thumb, but still a pretty phone.

My life's pretty much stagnant now. I can only look forward to the Great Singapore Sale where I can liberate my stress and some money in the process. I kinda know what I want already so i hope those pieces will be on sale. And hopefully the viewty will be on sale too.

But most of all, I need a Monte Cristo now!

You'll always be a part of me,
I'm part of you indefinitely.
Don't you know you can't escape me,
Cause you'll always be my baby.

p.s. I hope David Cook wins.

internship and other mundane happenings

2008-04-30T00:48:00.003+08:00

I just realised mundane happenings sounds rather oxymoronic, doesnt it? Yup anyway, I'm at a loss for words now. Just lost my mood to blog. I shall continue another day.

Good night.

(:

Closing T2 Arrival in half an hour.

stb and other of life's better things.

2008-03-28T20:51:00.003+08:00

Today officially marks the end of my training with the Singapore Tourism Board (STB) before I start my internship proper on monday and I must say, it's one of the best organizations I've come across in my life. I have learnt so much just within two short weeks and it is all thanks to the directors, supervisors and trainers that have put in so much blood, sweat and tears to ensure that we learn the necessary skills as well as ensuring that we are all well taken care of.

I honestly am so grateful to all of them because I have learnt so much about Singapore, service and teamwork. I would like to give special mention to two main people, Shahril our trainer and mentor as well as Rosie, our motherly supervisor that has gone miles to make sure that we get the best treatment wherever we go and ensuring that we are well looked after.

Unlike most of the other interns in LRM, i think the group of us consisting of Hui Qi, Hafidah, Pamela, Beverly, Seok Ming, Vanessa, Mei Xuan aka Jade, Kevin and Kenneth and myself of course had the good fortune of being trained thoroughly for two weeks before actually starting work. We went to various places of interest, well known to locals and tourists, but we were also brought to places we have never been before. Basically, we experienced the different leisure and recreational offerings in Singapore so as to better grasp the concept of how a tourist would feel in the different attractions.

As I do not want you guys to be distracted from my lenghty post by putting pictures, I have placed them in the post below so you can take a look at some of the places we visited and be jealous. Haha. I wont go into detail about the places that I visited but I'll just share some of the more interesting events that happened along the way.

Firstly, the zoo and night safari experience was a rather good one although I just went to the night safari a few weeks before. What i and i think all of us particularly enjoyed was the buffet dinner at Ulu Ulu Safari Restaurant. It's all thanks to the concern and effort of Rosie that we were able to get such a wonderful meal free of charge! Rosie, we were thinking of you while eating and you are greatly appreciated by all of us!

The DHL Balloon ride was also fun and we so happened to see Karen there. Ya, i wont elaborate further for certain reasons. We also went on the Hippo Bus which can bring a tourists all around Singapore, literally, just by changing to the different coloured buses available. It was interesting to hear the commentary on board although some of the information given and delivery was much to be desired.

The Singapore River boat ride was interesting and it was quite fun to take a bum boat after a really long time. But i felt it was a little slow, well its supposed to be educational so well maybe yea okay. Whatever. Sentosa was fun! I managed to do all the things that I didnt do while I was studying there. I loved the cable car ride in and the luge was quite fun. Although I still feel the one in NZ is so much more thrilling.

The 4D Magix and CineBlast was alright, a little disappointing but so are NVM. Anyway the Butterfly Park had this bird show and it was rather funny especially when the show ended and the trainer took out a scorpion and put it on Seok Ming's hand. Very very amazing. The images of Singapore wasnt too bad either but i think the National Museum offers a better insight and display. And yes, i was able to catch Songs of the Sea. I think the pyrotechnics and laser show was really good and the idea of using the sea water as their water is so brilliant, albeit simple.

We headed down to St. James Power Station after that and we managed to see all the 9 different clubs/bars they had and i especially loved the KTV rooms in Dragonfly. My goodness, i'm so gonna design my room and bed like that in the future. It's so lush and comfy and it just makes you wanna chill there forever. Sadly, the minmum age for guys is 23 except for the Powerhouse but like I wanna go to the Cigar Den and sit there the whole night long.

Chinatown/Little India/ Kg. Glam was visited the next day and I think the only thing i appreciated was the wide array of Nasi Padang stalls there. I'm so gonna visit every single one of them and try man! WOOHOO! I LOVE NASI PADANG PLEASE! And also the Chinatown Heritage Centre had an excellent replica of a typical housing unit shared by many different families. It's really worth going there just to see it, really.

And on the last day, we went to the Singapore Flyer. The ride was quite fun and the view is spectacular but I bet once the IR and everything is up, it'll be damn good. And there's a flight simulator shop that allows you to be in an actual aircraft cockpit, a real real real one and fly and land at any airport in the world. It's really super fun but also super expensive. Like around $165+ for 30 minutes. But i bet it's so worth it. Then we went to the National Museum of Singapore after that. I honestly think it's the best museum in singapore and the displays and everthing are so much better than every other museum. I could spend like a day or even two in there but we only had an hour. Damn wasted la. No matter, it's only $10! Visit a museum today! You just might enjoy it.

Well enough of that. After the museum, and everything, I met up with ABG and Joshua, Van's guy and Johansson, Sam's dude. We had dinner at Changing Appetites at Marina Square and i must say i did not really enjoy the food. But the company was great and I hope the boyfriends would be more comfortable with us now. And damn, I have to plan the next gathering. How sia? Where to go? When to go?

And after that Lilian, Esther, Meng Ye, Sam, Johansson and I went to Harry's @ Esplanade for some drinks and a lot of dumb pictures. I had a lot of fun and I hope they did too. Okay i'll make sure we all meet up soon at a bar. Oh i know where already! HAHA! Heh Heh Heh!

Yesterday was a special day. It was my mummy's 50th birthday. She has done so much for my entire family and yet she is so humble and expects so little in return. She doesnt demand for much time and attention and yet I feel bad not spending as much time as i should with her. She has provided a roof over our heads, given us pocket money and makes sure we are always feeling alright. She is really a role model that I should emulate and her words are always full of wisdom and compassion. Her youthful spirit and adventurous attitude is something I should strive for. Sian, she's cooler than me. I'll post up the pictures of her birthday soon.

Oh and today was the last day of the 2 day service workshop organised for us held at NTUC Club at Downtown East. I think yesterday's sessions were quite boring but today, well today is another story altogether. It has taught me so much and I really am grateful STB has organized such a workshop for us before starting work. Like what I said just now, I think all the interns have matured during the past 2 weeks of training and I'm very happy to see that change in all of us. I really am happy. And we were all being so emo just now before we left and had a great big group hug. I love all you interns k? LOVE!

Super long post. I shall end here. HAHA. BYE!

AND WHEN I TOUCH YOU,
I FEEL HAPPY INSIDE.
IT'S SUCH A FEELINGTHAT MY LOVE,
I CAN'T HIDE.
I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND.

pictures

2008-03-28T20:24:00.019+08:00

ZOO: Shahril, Kevin and me checking out the white tigers.

ZOO: The idiots we met slacking.

OUTSIDE SVC ORCHARD: Sian, who take me eating ice cream?

HIPPO BUS: With Kevin, checking out the view.

VCH: Group picture with Sir Stamford Raffles. He's damn hot as a statue. Really.

CABLE CAR: Kev and I.

SENTOSA/CARLSBERG SKY TOWER: Check out the bald spot!

SENTOSA/IMAGES OF SINGAPORE: Can you see the wax figurine in my rickshaw?

SENTOSA/IMAGES OF SINGAPORE: I'm pulling that crate on the left okay!

SENTOSA/MERLION: Pretty scenery at the back.

SINGAPORE FLYER: Very nice view. And it's a OBSERVATION WHEEL NOT A FERRIS FREAKIN' WHEEL!

AFTER DINNER, HARRY'S @ ESPLANADE.

she forced me to do a different pose.

Kilkenny rocks la!

Before.

After.

untitled?

2008-03-23T17:23:00.003+08:00

Like most of the time, I think I'm blogging just for the sake of blogging. No particular reason for penning some random thoughts down for the world to see.

With reference to my previous post, i guess most of you guys think I'm being emo and all. Haha. But that's not really true la. I was just reminiscing (i hate that word by the way, really hate it.) my past and my happy moments. And as I promised there would be a continuation of the previous post so here it is.

I have decided that it's not worth it anymore. Really really not worth it. I dont think I should be wasting my time harping on the past. Well i know i shouldnt be but you know sometimes the brain and the heart dont really agree on certain things, do they? Yea well I have decided to move on and not keep hoping that something good will come out of it. Life is not a fairytale and there are no such things as happy endings, well at least not most of the time. I'm sure at this point, most of you would be like "YA YA, YOU'VE SAID THAT SO MANY TIMES AND YOU STILL HAVENT GOTTEN OVER HER. THIS IS JUST ANOTHER FUTILE ATTEMPT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER" But i'm trying guys. I really am and it's not that easy as I'm sure a lot of you know.

I'm trying to find a word that has greater impact than pathetic because that's pretty much how or what I am right now. SIAN. Eh Colleen, we have to help each other out now ah. You seem to be doing much better than me but it's only the beginning okay? Wait two years and when you still havent gotten over him, come tell me about it ya? (:

I think now i finally understand why closure is so important. Like when a loved one dies and you dont know why or how or when he/she died, you cant carry on with life, cause there isnt any closure. I guess I'm in a similar predicament right now. I know for the rest of my life I will carry on this way but it will get better, I hope and I wont be thinking of the good times I've had in the past. I hope I will be able to make new and happier memories in the future and I'll look back and laugh at how silly and childish I've been. YES!

Okay end of story!

Now something interesting. For the first time in my life, I cried in church. Yes. I was attending the Good Friday Service on Good Friday (DUHH) and as I've attended many in my 18+ years, I just thought of it as another solemnity. But somehow, God stabbed me in the back, metaphorically speaking. I think they were going through the Stations of the Cross and at the 4th station onwards, the words just struck me so hard and I couldnt control my emotions. I started tearing and so did a lot of people in church. I was quite amazed actually. Haha. And i felt damn emo throughout the service but the ironic thing is, when they came to reading the Passion part, where Jesus was to be crucified and during his death, i felt no emotion at all. I was feeling relieved instead. Weird eh?

Ah well. That's that.

24012005

2008-03-15T23:48:00.002+08:00

You know, how people wish that someone invented a time machine so that they can go back in time to change the past? Well I kinda wish i had that now. I know i'm such an advocate of not regretting what has already happened and taking every move, right or wrong, as a learning experience. But well, there's always an exception isn't there?

Memories can come back to people through all the 5 senses. Be it seeing something familiar, hearing an old song that reminds you of that special someone, tasting a great pasta which reminds you of your holiday in Italy, ya you get the drift. Well, I have found something that can bring me back to the past in an instant; a so called time machine. Especially during my pubescent years (I'm kinda post-pubescent now yeah?) where I was so naive, so foolish, so unnecessarily proud and assuming.

Sometimes you wonder why people treat you in a certain way now. And you think, why does the world hate me so much. Well, I guess its karma. Truly, what goes around bloody comes around and hits you harder and faster.

Whilst in my supposed time machine just now, I realised so many things. I realised how little I knew about the world and yet how much I bragged and preached about the GOOD VALUES of the world to certain people. Yet, now I either don't practice these values or go against them. I was not a good person in the past. I'm not a good person now either. I honestly think I suck. HAHA. Okay this isn't getting anywhere. Pardon this nonsensical blabber for I am kinda in a foggish blur at the moment.

What I'm trying to say is I regret everything I have ever done to hurt anyone in the past, especially you. I'm sorry for the endless supply of insults I have dished out to you while I am reciprocated with patience and forgiveness by your kind soul. I know I have promised not to bother you anymore and I kinda consider this bothering you cause I'm kinda talking about you so ya. And I dont think sorry is enough. I have been too apologetic all my life. I dont think my sorrys mean anything now, to anyone.

I just needed to get this off my chest. And I'm not really done yet. Not with this post at least. There shall be a continuation soon. That, i promise.

The Happiest Day of My Life.

uhhh

2008-03-11T21:59:00.005+08:00

I think staying at home for a day doing nothing kinda makes you stupid. Like today, I didnt do anything but sit in front of the telly from 2pm to like 9pm watching some rather mindless shows and i feel like crap. Really. I thought doing nothing would be like relaxing and all but i just feel down in the shit hole and worn out. I literally feel tired from doing absoloutely nothing. Who'd have ever guess eh?

And there's that feeling of being stupid. I know i have my dumb/stupid/ignorant/blonde moments at times but this is just a sure-fire way of becoming retarded in the shortest possible time. I guess some people like watching tv but like quickly turns into loathe after 7 hours of staring at a screen. The last time I did something like this was when I returned from Vietnam and watched GA season 3 and Nip/Tuck season 4 within like a week. The sheer pleasure of knowing what happens before most people is fantastic but it really took a toll on me mentally and physically.

Then, loser-ish-ness kicks in. You feel like a complete and utter loser. I know SOME people in LRM think that I'm a loser (I know who you are k) and I'm actually rather alright with it. I guess they have their own views and such so I wont really be all pissy and bitchy about it; at least not right now. Back to the topic. Ya I feel quite lethargic and loser-ish now. Like i have no energy to do anything at all. There was this little voice in my head telling me that i should at least go do some sets in the gym, just to keep my blood circulating properly but you see, there was this other bigger somewhat demon-like voice telling me to sit still and continue watching Ellen Degeneres. And so i gave in to the louder voice without putting up much of a fight. Yeah..you get the picture, yes?

Ah, and I've had a recent obsession for Westlife. Okay maybe not them, but their songs. I dont wanna be accused of being gay, AGAIN. So i shall clichely end of with one of my favourites.

I'll always look back as I walk away,
This memory will last for eternity.
And all of our tears will be lost in the rain,
When I've found my way back to your arms again.
But until that day,
You know you are the queen of my heart.

yes i know, i've used this song's lyrics before. so?

CIAOLABELLA

2008-02-28T22:18:00.006+08:00

K off i go for a short break to Malacca once again for food, sun and relaxation. Oh and maybe a dash of shopping too. Bloody FOS there is so cheap! AH! I'll only be back on sunday and i'll be leaving at like 6am tomorrow to avoid the jams and what not. Damn i havent packed yet.

Today was quite fun, i suppose. Tennis-ed in school for the first time and I must say I think I'm gonna make full use of the 8 courts our school has la. Like for what man? I hardly see them occupied and even if they are, there are like 7 others that are free. TSK! And it was quite funny cause as i was waiting for BCBG at 9am, there were like Mass Comm students running from the sports hall to the book shop cause they didnt have pencils and needed them desperately. Quite funny la. Yea and she finally arrived like some time later and the game commenced. It was quite draggy and slow at first but it slowly picked up. And after like half an hour, we decided to practice our strokes at the wall.

It was my first time using the wall and it really is very helpful. And it was so much fun, hitting the ball against the wall and stuff. But after like a really long time, we both were kinda tired and decided to stop playing. But i really enjoyed tennis today. And i'm really sorry to Lilian and all those who heard us playing during the exams. Really sorry, hope the sound of balls didnt disrupt your concentration.

Had some publications meeting after that which was quite productive i guess. I hope things run along well. Actually i believe they will la. No worries! The yearbook will be a huge success and the editor will go down in history! I think once its released, VOGUE, STYLE, COSMO, AUGUST will all be looking for a new editor-in-chief. SIAN.

OH and i realised i love eggs and toast. Like soft-boiled eggs, or half-boiled eggs as some would like to call it, and bread smeared with kaya and butter. It just hits the spot anytime and everytime. I had that just now after the meeting and i felt so happy. Then i also had that on tuesday. After pool with Matthias, Big Ben, Shane and Mell, who just sat there, we went to Sakae at the airport for sushi buffet. Well i wont say much but i will admit i got owned by the sushi. I was the first to die. Even Shawn and Desmond were going strong. Anyway i dont like rice. And i didnt get owned by meat at Carnivore k! So i'm still better than u guys! I think.

K after that i felt like dying and we walked around and went to T3 to look at the planes at the viewing mall. But guess what? Once we reached there, i felt so so much better and wanted a hot coffee to bring everything down and also a place to finish up my book. So Matthias suggested Ya Kun and it was to be. We sat at the unbelievably comfortable arm chairs and read our books. So cute la. Everyone had some reading material and we were just reading. HAHA. Then i ordered the eggs and toast which was like heavenly. The eggs were the biggest mothers i have ever seen in my life, like the size of King Kong's freaking balls la. And the coffee was thick like cement mix and that IS a good thing okay.

So it was over a cup of coffee and a comfy chair that i finished Gordon Ramsay's autobiography and as a book hater, i dare say it's a damn good book. It tells so much about his life and how much he has gone through since a boy. I've been sucha fan of his since Hell's kitchen 1 last year and even more so after watching The F Word. Now, after reading his book, he's like a god. Such a focused, determined, hardworking person who has come so far from his humble and troubled beginnings. For those who like him, please read his book-Humble Pie, for those who hate him, please read his book; really opens up your mind to him and the cooking world.

I better go pack my stuff now la. HAHA. Bye for now guys. And i wont be brining my phone so dont bother ya?

no cheesy lyrics today.
maybe just an

i love you.

thats all.

something stupid

2008-02-17T22:48:00.004+08:00

I kinda have nothing to do now, besides studying so I'm just sitting in front of my computer and trying to to find something interesting to do. My two brothers are playing CS online and because I'm not a gamer, I'm not gonna really bother with that and also because I dont want my computer to lag anymore by adding useless applications.

Oh ya, back to the topic. So i dont have anything to do and I cant really be bothered to blog hop or anything like that because everyone's blog seems to be as dead as mine. So I have decided to type something intelligent here and show off my wonderful vocabulary. Unfortunately, i have a strange feeling that it will backfire and i will writing something stupid (like I love you). Okay that was a really bad pun. See it's started already.

Okay i think i will stop acting smart and just recount what has happened in the past few days/wees/months. Has it been months since i last blogged? Ah whatever. First, i wanna apologise for the lack of pictures in this post. I havent gotten all the pictures so i cant really put them up can I? So you guys will just have to rely on your imagination to piece the events together.

I think I'll start on Valentine's Day. Right that was just like 4 days back. Okay that's as far as my memory will take me back so forgive me. Okay i had a presentation for Leadership on that day and we kinda decided to wear suits so i planned to wear my grey suit for it. But on the morning, i kinda changed my mind after looking at myself in it. You see, when i was in Vietnam, i decided to act smart and alter my coat to make it shorter and smaller cause i felt it was kinda big and boxy, you know like those 80s suits. So i did that and it looked good, WITH JEANS. So back to the morning, i wore it with my grey pants and it looked quite terrible. The back was like way too short and it looked kinda funny from the back. So with much frustration, i just chucked it aside and wore my pin-striped navy one. Oh that reminds me, i have to buy a new suit! YES! Kinda thinking of grey or brown. Hmmm.. sian see how lor.

So after getting dressed, I met her on the bus and we headed to parkway. I havent seen her in quite some time and I must say she's lost some weight. Sian, run so much, later run until you evaporate ah! K that made no sense but ya. At parkway, we went to CaffeBar for lunch and this funny thing happened. K i was in a suit and i was gonna take some bread so i walked to the bread counter where the toaster and bread is. Then there was this guy there so i just smiled at him. And this conversation ensued.

GUY: Hey. The bread is not very toasted ah.
Me: Oh really? Maybe you didnt turn the heat up enough.
So i went to turn it to no. 4 like the label there said. It was originally at no. 1
GUY: Oh thanks!
I smiled and proceeded to cut slices of bread on the board next to the toaster.
Then he did the most amazing thing! He took my slices of bread and put it in the toaster! Like hello! I'm not cutting it for you!
GUY: Hey, the bread seems kinda stuck, it's not coming out.
ME: Oh i think it can be removed with this knife (the bread knife)
I proceeded to use the long bread knife to push the bread down cause it was stuck.
GUY: Oh thanks!
ME: Your Welcome!
He then took the plate of MY bread he toasted and wanted to walk away. But he said
GUY: Can i have some napkins please?
ME: Oh er sure.
Then i took some napkins from a big stack next to me and gave it to him.
GUY: Thanks.
I just smiled and continued cutting my bread while he walked away.

Damn funny la! That poor bugger thought i was the manager or some shit just cause i was in a suit. I think he got the shock of his life when i took my plate of bread, sat down and started eating just in front of him. HAHA!

Okay food was good as usual, company was even better though! And the arcade was so much fun after that. It was like totally empty except for this one small boy who kept following us around and cheering for either her or me, whoever was winning the game. So cute please! Then after that, the long bus ride back to school and on to the leadership presentation. I must say it was like my most relaxed presentation ever but i kinda didnt give it my all. But surprise surprise, our group was like the best out of all. NOTE THE HEAVY SARCASM (:

Then after that, after that was a very very very good reunion at Simpang. Bryan, Jun Leng, Chee Yuan, Kelvin, Ruban, Adora, Susanne, Zhao Yue, Ameera, Shireenand myself were there. I havent seen some of these people in like 7 years! My goodness! I must say, everyone has changed but theyre still the same old people i used to know. It was so comfortable talking to them and there were definitely no awkward silences during the whole dinner. I really had a good time catching up. And so weird, like we havent seen each other in 7 years but that night, we were planning on going on a trip already! Woohoo!! I want a holiday man! Hopefully Bali so i can use my surfboard! I really miss those guys.

Then on friday night, Tai Hong, Shawn, Matthias, Jonathan, Mel, Lena and myself went to catch PS I love you at The Cathay. I must say, it's one of the better movies i've seen in a bloody bloody long time! There was so much comedy and romance and the actors were really good. I think i'm gonna catch it again, probably on tuesday. Wah damn nice la! Even Shawn teared, the guy who said "who cry is dog". There you go, bitch. K la i teared too ya. Super nice la!

And after that, i went to my mum's boss' house along MountBatten. As usual, he was half drunk and made all of us drink even more. The food was really good and i loved the cheese sausages from Hooters. Nice man! And as usual, kev and ben were working the bar and they bloody made me drunk k. Dont ask. Luckily, my mum managed to pull all of us out by 1am if not we would have been there till like 3 or 4 like the other time and i dont think my liver can manage that again.

AH nothing great really happened today and yesterday so nothing to say la. Sian, no need to prepare for Service tomorrow. I kinda feel sad you know? Ah who am i kidding? I'm bloody overjoyed by the fact that i dont have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow and enjoy doing free labour for ungrateful customers. (:

I practice every day, to find some clever lines to say;
To make the meaning come true.
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late,
And I'm alone with you.
Then I go and spoil it all,
By saying something stupid,
Like I love you.

just thinking

2008-01-28T22:24:00.001+08:00

Sian, those were the days.

Since I have some free time before I start procrastinating and delaying my FEM assignments, I decided to post a short one.

Notice how everyone's face was so angular? And like how everyone looks so similar in terms of hairstyle. HAHA!

Those were the days of:

-Cut and Curl Hair Salon
-Eating only 1 slice of fruit and 1 packet of apple&aloe vera for recess/lunch
-Constant CCA trainings
-Staying back late for Night study with Mr Njoo who keeps talking about sex
-Trying not to get caught for long hair and low pants
-Not wanting to eat/drink anything with sugar/fat/oil/carbs
-Endless school work which seemed like nothing at all

I kinda miss that. Ah well...

Those were the days my friend,
We thought they'd never end.
We'd sing and dance forever and a day.
We'd live the life we choose,
We'd fight and never lose.
Oh we were young and sure to have our way.

monte cristo and then some

2008-01-20T22:07:00.001+08:00

Ah, FEM project is over but like so what? There are like so bloody many other assignments and projects due the coming weeks, it doesnt really matter anymore.

Anyway, i just celebrated my father's 50th birthday yesterday and it was good, i must say. We went for dinner at Jerry's at Tanglin, the place TH took a certain someone for her birthday. Although it was rather quiet, the food was like super good la. I especially loved the salad bar mainly cause of the potato salad which i kinda cleared and the genereous amount of bacon bits i bathed on top of the potatoes. Before the main course even came, i was like 3/4 full. Thank goodness I was sharing the main with my brother if not I wouldnt have been able to finish it. Wah sian, kenna own by potato salad lor.

Then came time for dessert. I dare say, this was like the best dessert i have ever had in a really long time. It was a piping hot pecan pie with a huge dollop of vanilla ice cream and the ever tacky whipped cream with cherry on top. The pecan pie was just heavenly and when eaten with the ice cream, climax was impending. Like really, damn fucking nice la! AH!

K then when we got home, we all kinda sat outside on the swing with the doggies and my dad took out the present i got him.

i bought a box of 6 for him and 2 more for myself. HAHA.

But cause i was too lazy to get mine, i took one of his and we started enjoying the beautiful aroma of a monte cristo cigar. I had difficulty cause i've never smoked a big cigar before but after awhile i got the hang of it and the taste was extremely earthy and gorgeous. Even mummy appreciated it's distinctive flavour. Okay people, smoking is bad and should not be proliferated but a celebratory cigar is fine by me. As long as you dont do it that often, an occasional smoke is good. Plus, there is no tar, niccotine and 4000 chemicals in a cigar, just plain tobacco so just imagine rolling up basil leaves and smoking it. HAHA. But really, Monte Cristos are just magnificent.

I would like to apologise to Shane about yesterday. Sorry i couldnt make it today, i really was not free and had to do stuff at home. I hope you understand. If there is any part of the project i can help you with, please tell me and i'll be more than willing to help.

Alright, on to BCBG! havent talked about you for a rather long time huh? Just thanks for the perpetual support and understanding you have showed me. I know i may be kinda rude, annoying, irritating at times but thanks for not judging me or anything. I know you dont want me to say this but i will, sorry for that day. For that MURDER SCENE thing. HAHA. I know you can laugh about it but i was really like so worried la. It was then that i realised how much responsibility i have to bear. I hope things turn out well now. But thanks for always making me smile (: BCBG rocks to the max of mexico!

Oh and i had fun with P&L on friday night as usual. It's kinda becoming a habit not isnt it? Meeting them for dinner and arcade after. This time, we went to Parkway and since we were all lazy, we cabbed down and had dinner at CaffeBar. I was like so full after that because of the bread, as usual. Then we went to the arcade for some youthful fun and i love the air hockey game la!

After that, we decided to be intellectual and headed to Borders to read some books. Okay i know this may sound weird but i think i may be interested in books. Yes dont puke here but recently, i have been going to Borders to read books by Jeremy Clarkson and Gordon Ramsay. I love their biographies cause they're such colourful authors unlike JK Rowling and such. I think i've a new found love for books. Did you know i used to read like mad in Kindergarten and early primary school? I even got that dumb avid reader's badge. Well, let's just see how things progress from here.

I'm having trouble tying my tie as usual. It's not that i dont know how to, it's just that when it comes to actually having to tie it, i somehow completely forget. But when i dont need to tie it, i will remember. Has that ever happened to you? It's been happening to me recently especially on Sunday nights. Sigh.

Ah well, headwaiter tomorrw, here i come!

Rest early everyone. It's Service tomorrow.

A few more pounds, a little more grey,
Don't count the years, just count the way.
It takes a little time to go from water into wine;
Don't ever lose the wonder of that child within your eyes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA.